Told in a letter about long ago affair

[itsovernow]

Hi I'm new here

Never knew wut really infidelity is like until until now like hours ago in a letter, which he wrote it, guess he must have been guilty for a long time, but oh well, I don't care, I'm now thinking of divorce right away. Nope, I don't have a child with him, but even if I did, my opinion would not change, I would still divorce him, in fact now, I'm starting to get all his clothes in the packages. Wut kinda questioning is why did he say it to me about this in a letter, nope, he's not back yet, but when he comes back from work, there will be a message to pick out his packages. I always warm him from the start, even when we were b/f and g/f, if it occur, I would dump him right away and if marry then I would immediately divorce, no second chances, he's my first but so wut, this is something I cannot ever recover from, never. Anyways we met 11 yrs ago and been married for 7 yrs now. In the letter he wrote it says he cheated when we were 2 yrs into our relation and that the reason we didn't told me was cuz he knew I would have never marry him, which is true. I marry him thinking he was great until now, this living lie. In case he wasn't wanna give me the divorce papers, where to go. No, I don't wanna work it out, no excuse for that I know. After this revelation, it's like wut I felt change, from love to nothing at all after that letter. ](*,)

[RayKay]

Where do you live? In a lot of places, you don't need the other partner's permission to file for divorce.

 

I am sorry to hear about this sweetie, this is heartbreaking for anyone to go through. I cannot even imagine how terrible it would be to feel it was all based on a lie in some way...

 

I cannot say your decision to leave is wrong, I would feel the same. Some people choose to work things out, but for me, it's just too big of a dealbreaker - children or not. While I can respect that they choose to work through it, it's not a choice I would make. I have seen my mother stay with someone (my father) when I was young after affairs, until she finally left, and I must say I think the best thing she could have ever done was finally leave....we all ended up much better off for it and she found someone whom is loyal to her, and wonderful to us kids.

 

Big hugs, and best of luck - it won't be easy, but you have to do what is right for you. I am sure your feelings will go around and around, but do what's right for you no matter what.

[Day_Walker]

If that is your decision that you dont want to work things out then do exactly what you have told us here and you will be fine.

[Relationship Coach]

I understand your anger and sense of betrayal and I'm sorry. Have you considered that because he knows your position on this clearly from the start, he wrote you the letter because he wants a divorce? Writing you a letter about this is pretty spineless but think about it, do you really think his guilt got the best of him after all those years. There's more to it I bet. He's forcing your hand, it's almost like "death by cop". Someone who is to afraid to kill themselves points a gun at a cop to let someone else do their dirty work.

 

I'm glad you are firm on your feelings, not that it makes the process easier but it will certainly put you on the fast track to healing and dealing with your anger. Best Wishes.

[lovecrazy]

I am sorry about what you are going through!

 

I know If I found out Win ( my boyfriend) slept with another girl, or man (lol) i would leave him! No forgiveness

[Vanilla]

what a coward!! first he didnt tell you this theh so you would marry him which is SO low....and then he writes it instead of saying it face to face?

 

despicable.

 

I take my hat off to you for getting out of there.