Whats the next step?

[Butterfly355]

Im currently in a realtionship with my boyfriend who has two daughters, different moms, they dont live with him but spend a great deal of time with them,eldest child's mom is married however the youngest mom not Im concerned he would go back to her.

My other concern is that my parents - my mother and grandfather completely disapproves of our relationship.

I have been seeing him for 6 months during all this time I have never confronted my family my mother treats me very terrible. Im not able to discuss anything with her.

She says I have to choose but she has not really given me a choice, she wants me to end the relationship.

I feel so lost, I have all this mixed emotions

I have lost all my understanding and relationship with my mother which is very important to me.

She has excluded and treats my as if I dont know myself

I dont even know if I woul dlike to continue my relationship.

I have broken up with him a few times but he refuses to end it.

[MaxPayne19]

Why is your family diapproving your relationship? Are they just so bothered that he has two daughters?

[Vanilla]

I mean I can kind of understand where your family is coming from.

 

He is a man who has fathered children with different women and well...

 

put yourself in your mothers shoes- how would you feel if your daughter was dating someone like that? you can say "i'd just want her to be happy"...but then again, you're not a mother are you?

 

I am not saying he is a bad person because of this, things happen and children are a blessing...but making the same issue TWICE with TWO different women may show a bit of irresponsibility and lack of judgement.

 

This obviously scares your family who only want what is best for you and may not know how to deal with this at the very best, but hey we're humans!

 

I'm also curious of your age. That could have a big factor in here.

[Vanilla]

you say "he refuses to end it"....people can't refuse someone to break up with them. You can try to talk to them and hope they will come back...but that sounds a little manipulative.

[Butterfly355]

He has recently asked me to marry him as well Im so confused now his been very distant towards me after I said im not ready to get married.

My family are really bothered by his children and the fact that he has never comitted to marriage before, why suddenly his interested in me.

His youngest daugther said to me I should go home after spending the day with him and her. I was hurt by her comment since she is only 3.

Im 30 and been instructed by a 3yr old. Although I not had many realtionships I seem to land up with the most difficult ones. Maybe I should just move on and distance myself as I feel his not as serious as he cliams

[Vanilla]

i don't think you should marry him. He has two women behind him, children who already are showing signs of trouble, has shown lack of commitment and integrity and your families will be at war.

 

i think somewhere deep inside you know you ar enot making the best decision for yourself by being with him.

 

how is your self esteem? you will only attract what you portray of and within yourself. Men can smell it a mile a way and know which are the vulnerable weak ones and which are the strong confident ones.

[PrincessLinzay]

Well, I can certainly see how this would be rough. It sounds to me though that there are other underlying problems with the relationship. Trust issues perhaps?

 

My fiancee has children elsewhere who he is very involved with, and I will be the first to admit that it's a hard adjustment to make. Knowing that the exes will be around all the time is pretty daunting. I've been with my fiancee now for 3 years and we are currently expecting our first child in about....oh.....4 days. Lol. He is still a good person and a good daddy, so I was able to work through my initial insecurities.

 

I guess ultimately it comes down to what you are and are not able to cope with. Your feelings should come first, and if you have doubts about his ability to commit then it might be best to cut ties now.