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January 10, 2006 in Friendship and Friends
I've been following your threads for some time now...
This situation is messy. Forget the past. Act with grace and good nature and leave it at that (the gift for the baby was an appropriate gesture) - if she doesn't contact you again at least you ended it on a good note and she can never take that away from you.
You don't need this... it's not doing you any favours and it's been going on way too long.
It doesn't matter how someone else acts, but you don't have to put up with it. Always hold yourself in high regard and act suitably. Do make an effort, do be nice, but don't do it because you expect it back. Do it because you are a good person. If you don't get anything back it is not your loss - it is a reflection on her. And you don't have to remember a reflection of her, you can just get her out of your mind and move on.
Thanks, but do you think what she said was insulting? Or am I overreacting?
If you feel like the chinese box business was BS then it is disrespectful that she makes up excuses.
It's possible though that what she said was true, but you would know better than me.
When she said "you didn't have to do that"...well when I receive a gift I prefer to so "thanks so much, that will be so useful...I've always wanted one...appreciate it!". To me "you didn't have to do that" is kind of a bad way of saying thankyou. Maybe she is just not good with these things though. So yes, I understand where you are coming from with this.
If she sounded reluctant in or forced to make the message than it is a little insensitive of her. The lack of holiday wishes is kind of insensitive too, though easily overlooked, especially in a answering machine message... some people aren't good with that sort of thing.
About the xmas card... well she has a baby now and so maybe she was just too busy.
Her nature is a little unusual... from what I recall she didn't really make much effort to contact you in college... she seems like she isn't too good at being a friend, kind of unpredictable and irrational.
She seems like she isn't really good at keeping up appearances so to speak and she probably isn't particularly good at knowing how to deal with friendship and what is required. It's possible.
I decided not to call her back right away,. I just got a bad feeling from that message. i know shes lying about throwing my adress away. Also she didnt give me her email adress which i asked for.
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