I am really frustrated with myself

[heartbroken84]

I can't keep secrets. I am a horrible friend. I gossip, I talk behind people's backs. I trust people to much. I trust other with other peoples secrets. I am so messed up and I feel horrible...

 

When someone tells me something, I can't distinguish whether it's supposed to be kept as a secret.

 

Apparently, I suck. There's this co-worker #1 I have, and well she told me something personal. And then later I told another co worker #2 whom we are close friends with...so, little did I realize that co worker #1 told co worker #2 about the secret. But co worker #2 told co worker #3 that I already told her, and that I was gloating about it....I just assumed, made a mistake...she's furious with me. I feel horrible. I trusted that co worker #2 would not snitch on me....

[Tigris]

Sounds to me like you've learned a valuable lesson.

 

I suggest anything personal mentioned to you is a secret. The best thing to do is ask if this is for your ears only, that way you're safe.

 

Apologise to co-worker#1

 

Hopefully in time she'll calm down and forgive you.

 

Good luck

[annie24]

Hi - I'm kind of the same way. I've gotten in trouble for it myself...

 

So, yeah, just apologize and in the future, try to talk about other stuff than other people's problems. Or, if you REALLY want to talk about it, better to call an old high school or college friend on the other side of the country, who doesn't know any of these people.

[registered]

It's one thing to say you do this but the important question is why do you do this?

Why do you talk behind people's backs?

 

I've made my own observations about people who do this, the usual motivations are jealousy, contempt, power/ego trips... I say this because people in some way get enjoyment out of doing it in some way. Do you get enjoyment out of gossipping and talking about other people? What makes you do it?

 

Gossip is about power and being in control of other people.

That's what I think... I'm probably being quite negative about it, but I think it's important to see the fact in all of this.

It isn't a good thing to do obviously, but if you understand what is causing you to do it then you will see just how bad it is.

 

I don't trust anyone with anything. I expect them to tell other people and for this reason I only tell them certain things and am prepared for that stuff to be told.

Only people I trust really, really well will hear the secrets I have.

 

Do NOT gossip. It's a bad reflection on you because it is a bad thing. If people can't trust you with information you will live a lonely and isolated life.