Today

[lovecrazy]

I am irritated, Again my boyfriend forgets to call me.

 

Am I overreacting?

 

It just annoys me to no end.

[RayKay]

I am irritated, Again my boyfriend forgets to call me.

 

Am I overreacting?

 

It just annoys me to no end.

 

What did he say about the last times he forgot?

 

My thoughts on this have not changed since last time. It is possible he forgot, but no man or woman I know ever forgets to call someone they really are interested in. They just don't, because they WANT to call regardless of whether they said they would or not...they just want to.

[shorty20]

ok.... on the whole "forgetting" to call thing, here's my opinion. If you want to talk to him, you should call him. If he wants to call you, he can call you... the whole he was supposed to call but he didn't so now I'm not going to cal.... that is all games. If you're in a relationship it shouldn't matter who calls who, just that you guys are happy to hear from each other. Now that being said, I don't think that "forgetting" to call is really an excuse. If you care about someone and are dating someone, it dosen't matter how busy you gut or how many other things you have going on, you still want to talk to that special person regardless, so even if you did technically forget to call, you'd still call just to see whats up... don't know if I made sense there... but what I'd do is just first off if you haven't already done this sit him down and tell him this... say "i just want to put this out there now, so if it happens again and I get mad, you know why... One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone tells me they will call, or call me back.. and they don't. If you're not going to call, fine.. my life dosen't revolve around you... but don't tell me you're going to call and then just "forget" or "get busy".... I had to do this with my bf... but I only had to do it once, because it never happened again. Hope I helped. Some boys are very forgetfull, and girls need to give them some slack and understand that. I think that if you call him, you'll be able to know if it's something deeper than him just "forgetting" to call by his reaction. If he's happy to hear from you, then you're fine. Just have him work on remembering. Good luck!

[lovecrazy]

Well basically responds with I was tired and forgot!

 

but what I am looking at is the dependablity! He is showing me that he isnt. I am reading a lot into it. But I am also thinking that he needs to put forth the effort. I am the one always driving to see him, buying his mother a birthday gift, when he doesnt have the money. Ummm buying him food, and all this and that. But he cant call I think its bs. I feel like our relationship is going back in the same rut it was in. And honestly if it does I dont think I will stay!

[Vanilla]

win- how long have you two been together? just to help me organize my thoughts

[lovecrazy]

about a year and a half

[xmrth]

Sometimes my boyfriend doesn't call either and I think I know why-- this may very well apply to your relationship, or not, just see:

 

He used to always all throughout high school, but then once we were out of high school, and he started working full time and having night classes, I didn't hear from him 3 nights out of the week. He'd still call on the days he wasn't busy like that (very full schedule), and occasionally I would call him before he had the chance.

As the years went on (2.5 years since then) and we still weren't able to get in touch very much during the week because of our schedules. Since we were so used to not talking those 3 days, which equaled less time in the week in total, we both just got more and more used to it... and over time, it just went into it more and more.

Like I was saying in another post this morning, and it relates to sex as well (which was where I originally heard this was in a marriage article) when you aren't used to doing certain things with your partner because of whatever the circumstances are (in my case, different schedules), after a while, it's going to turn more and more into that, even when more time to talk presents itself.

Do you suppose this is the case in your relationship?

 

I myself am not too thrilled, but I can always usually get in touch with him if I can, but it's his job to call me when we have plans and he pulls through for that. I would suggest relying a little less on him always keeping his word if he's gotten "used to" not calling so much, if that's the case. Maybe there can be certain days or reasons why he would be the one to call such as I have going in my own relationship.

 

It doesn't change the fact they don't always call when they say, but maybe your boyfriend really is tired, or maybe he's just comfortable enough that he doesn't feel he doesn't have to. Are you too available for him? That seems to be a problem I've been running into for a while now; that could be a factor.

[Vanilla]

This is my opinion on it. I dont believe he "forgets"...I just think he doesn't feel like calling. I am not saying its because he doesnt love you or whatnot, I dont know his stands on that. But it seems to me that maybe he doesn't find calling you that important and he's probably used it now too.

 

I know we all can get pretty hectic. Work, school, problems, etc. Everyone has them. Even if you have worked 9-5, and then had class from 7-9...you can still send a txt message saying "i love you" or call just to say "missed you, goodnight." because that only takes 2 seconds!

 

People have to make special time for eachother, and you seem very understanding of your conflicting schedules so the least he could do is make 3 minutes for you on the phone just to be thoughtful and say he loves you and sweet dreams.

 

How is he with other things? Is he appreciative and greatful towards you?

 

is it just with calling?

[RayKay]

Bingo.

 

When you want to talk to someone, you DO make the time. I have dated people whom worked 14-15 hour shifts, then had a 2-3 hour class, and STILL made 5 minutes of time to call me. My boyfriend will call me when he is away on business trips and at conferences - as busy and hectic as they are, he will sneak away for a couple minutes to call, or text me. Heck he calls me when he is in the city and just "out and about" and he DOES live with me, so there is no real "need" to call. He does it as he wants to. I am the same way. I have long days too, I am up early working out, then at work all day, then doing more training after work, and I will find time, because I WANT to find time.

 

I really hate when people say they are just too busy...because life just gets BUSIER in my experience. It might be filled up with more things you enjoy - hobbies, family, etc, but it does not get "easier", so you have to make time for the things you want to do.

[Vanilla]

i agree with ray kay.

 

like i told my boyfriend a while back when we had some issues that are thankfully being resolved similar to yours in a way...

 

"if you have time to take a piss, you have time to call me"

... and he darn well did.

 

there is just NO EXCUSE....none.

[lovecrazy]

Well he doesnt have a job! He has been doing some web site deign/administration for a friend of his, who inturn is helping my boyfriend do something. Its kind of a job, but not really.

 

So either he is doing that or playing his game, so I see no excuse to why he couldnt call me. He kept calling me yesterday, and I didnt even answer.

 

I talked to him last night, and he said he was sorry. And he called me last night before he went to bed. And well he should continue to keep calling me!