Ex called...and how did I handle it?

[octopus]

Hello all,

 

Today is a week after I moved out of his house, and we've had NC for the entire week.

 

A summary of how I feel: I miss him soo much, day and night, it drives me nuts to think he might be going to his ex (he probably isn't), or just available for any other woman in the world but me, but I've decided to move on and not physically see him until at least my birthday in April. Then I may or may not want to see him, but I'm assuming at least I'll be healed.

 

Today he called to say there are still some things I forgot to take at his place and a bunch of mail for me. He said "Do you want me to drop those off to you real quick?".

 

I thought for 20 seconds or so, and said : "Keep the mail, and throw away everything else. If you could put my mail in a big envelope and forward it to me it'd be great." He said ": Are you sure???" I said yes.

 

Then he asked whether I was excited about my trip to PR this weekend. I said yes and he started telling me where he went last year and where I should go and what to see, and while he was still talking I said "That sounds great, but I gotta go. Talk to you later, ok?" and he said OK and I hung up.

 

Did I sound like a mature, confident woman? I don't know. But if he had any desire to see me today, I destroyed that. I did not make myself available. I hope that I gave the message that I'm not always there anymore. By cutting the conversation off early (it was like 5 mins) did I give him a message saying I was busy and didn't have time for him? I hope so.

 

How do you all think I did? Now I started thinking he'll never call me again for anything because I sounded so determined...

Ahhh why can't all this just be over???

[DN]

You did well and the more you keep it up the sooner it will all be over.

[ocrob]

You did well sweetie. Just stay strong and move on. I am guessing he will want you back, but you have to think things are over and just live each day as a new one move on till something else happens.

[settinuplife]

you did good! You will be on his mind alot more now, guaranteed

[octopus]

Settinuplife,

 

I hope so. I hope he'll realize I am not there anymore. If that doesn't do it, there's no reason for me to keep feeling down about it. It wasn't meant to be. But even now, I have confidence that his feelings for me arent ZERO.

[Lady Bugg]

Hi Octopus!!

 

I think you handled things very gracefully!! Of course, there's is never any way to say if someone will come back. If I could predict that, I would be rich and NOT on this website, believe me!!!

 

My advice is to assume he is NEVER coming back because anything else is simply going to drive you Batty!!! If he doesn't you didn't get your hopes up...and if he does, you're all that more surprised. Make sense?

 

Do you have any new goals for the new year? It might help to start focusing on those. I am working out again. My birthday is coming up next month, so that's motivation for me... ....working out is ALWAYS an excellent tool for dealing with a breakup. Why not try it??

 

I have also found..posting about it so much kinda keeps me stuck, so it helps if I give advice to OTHER people instead.

 

I think you're on the right track, so keep doing what you're doing!!

[octopus]

I did ok talking to him, maybe, but I have nightmares every night.

 

i.e. i go to his place months later, and he's added a new room, everything looks more organized than before, everything's white, he's so happy without me etc...

 

And waking up alone is a shock. In a new bed, in a new apartment.

 

Anyone else have these nightmares and the shock of waking up alone? I still haven't gotten used to it. What do you do?

[redandblack]

I did ok talking to him, maybe, but I have nightmares every night.

 

i.e. i go to his place months later, and he's added a new room, everything looks more organized than before, everything's white, he's so happy without me etc...

 

And waking up alone is a shock. In a new bed, in a new apartment.

 

Anyone else have these nightmares and the shock of waking up alone? I still haven't gotten used to it. What do you do?

 

I have been reading a lot of C.G. Jung lately and have become a believer in the benefeits of interpreting your own dreams. As Jung stated "Dreams are, after all, compensations of the conscious attitude". If you have a dream tonight, try to interpret it as such. I believe there is a lot to be learned about ourselves in our dreams.

 

Post about how it goes!

 

Take care