ADVICE, pleease.

[havefaith]

Ooookay everyone, some of you will notice I've already posted this but I need more advice.

 

Two weeks ago I had sex for the first time, it was kind of an experiment, first night of my period my boyfriend did NOT cum, not in me out of me or anything. (Yes I know there's still a chance.) After this the period quit...

 

Two weeks later, here I am, I have cramps but no period, no other symptoms except I'm emotional. what in the good lord's name is happening to me - this sounds menstrual to me - could I restart my period?

 

Also, more important question: does that period that stopped after the first night count as a missed period / can I test now ...?

 

THANKS IN ADVANCE.

[nikkers04]

how old are you?

[havefaith]

I'm 18. does that matter....?

[nikkers04]

Your still fairly young its possible that you are just stressing so its causing your period to be late and sometimes your cycle can be off for no particualar reason it usually doesn't become regular till I'd say mid 20s. I'm sure its nothing...but you can always take a pregnancy test to be sure.

[catgirl82]

havefaith

you can only get pregnant when you are ovulating, which is usually around day 14 of your cycle. day 1 is the first day of your period.

 

however having unprotected sex at any time is still unsafe and here is why

 

1. obviously you can contract stds at any time

2. sperm can live inside your body for several days, so although you might not have been ovulating at the time, the sperm may still fertilize later on when you do ovulate if they are still living

3. every girl is different. there is no way to know exactly when you are ovulating. especially if you have irregular periods. this is why some women who are trying to get pregnant have to check their bodies to see when they are ovulating.

4. sometimes a period is not really a period, it is just something called spotting- when a little bit of your uterine lining sheds randomly.

 

are you sure you had your period and you were not spotting? do you have regular periods and if so, was this period regular?

 

im pretty sure that your period stopping the next day does not indicate that you are pregnant. its usually the next period that stops, not the current one. i am not an expert but this is what i think from what i can remember.

 

the fact that he did not ejaculate inside of you also makes it highly unlikely that you are pregnant. but i guess theres always that tiny possibility

 

i think you are being paranoid- which i totally understand because ive been there too. if i were you i would either go see your doctor or go buy a pregnancy test, whichever you feel more comfortable with.

 

let this be a very important lesson to always have safe sex- because you dont want to feel this way ever again

[havefaith]

Ok, thanks for that!! Yeah I've never been regular, so I didn't think much of it, except I just don't understand where a period can go when it randomly stops and why I'm getting cramps NOW.

[havefaith]

catgirl, I hadn't seen your message, so here's my response:

 

My period has never been regular, it has started to come around the same time every month since late summer perhaps. I've heard about spotting but it has never happened to me - also this bleeding was right around the correct time.

 

Also, rest assured: LESSON LEARNED!!!!!!!!!

 

Do you think it makes sense that I'm cramping now???

[nikkers04]

Have faith...its all about growing up no one is the same our bodies all work differently. You might be regular for a while then your not your period might last for 7 days and then 3. It will be a blessing when you know when its coming and how long its staying for.

 

Birth control is a big help for both issues...1 getting pregnant and 2 controling your cycle

[havefaith]

Yes I am absolutely working on getting birth control at this point in my life!! My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now and we always said we would be so safe, I don't know what to say other than it just "slipped." This has been such a learning experience fused with a terrible nightmare... I just pray I won't have to pay the price for this lesson if you know what I mean.

[nikkers04]

Best of luck. Birthcontrol is an amazing thing. It takes most worries away from getting pregnant. Its controls your cycle some say they gain weight I would say the first few months I noticed a change in my appetite but I learned to change with that. I started to watch what I was eating and made sure I slowly cut down on how much I was eating so I could balance it all out. I get way less cramps yes its a pain to remember to take the pill everyday at the same time...but if you can get into that habit its worth it. BE Safe Take Care and I guess Have fun with it

[catgirl82]

cramping could be anything- i know girls who get cramps when they ovulate- this is because the egg is released from the ovary at this time and some people actually get sharp pains when this is happening.

 

your hormones could be messed up causing you to cramp. or maybe you just have a stomach ache from something else?

 

there are alot of possiblities but i dont think you need to worry about pregnancy.

 

would you consider going on the pill? nikkers is right in that it will help keep you regular and may alleviate your anxiety about pregnancy. though i would still recommend condoms to protect you from stds- also the pill is not 100% effective, you have to be careful to take it at the same time every single day or it doesnt work as well.

 

the pill may also regulate you so you dont get cramps or get emotional. thats what it did for me, now i have easy regular periods that are nice and light.

 

is it possible for you to go talk to your doctor? i understand issues you may have about your parents finding out but this stuff is kept confidential so you should be ok

[havefaith]

Yes I'm working on getting to a doctor now. It's hard because I'm going to college next year, my mom and I are really close and this is pretty much the one thing I can't tell her (and ironically the one thing i NEED her on!!) So I've been trying to tell her I need birth control/a visit to the doctor so I can be regular, which is part of it but obviously the other part is sex-related. So I think she might be on to me.

 

Anyways long story short, definitely working on the birth control and from now on when I have sex (which is going to be a rare occasion) we will use the pill AND condoms.

 

If I could just get over this one hump I've fallen into I feel like things will be just fine... thank you guys so much for your care/help. it's so ridiculous, I'm regarded as "the responsible-mature" one amongst all my friends and here I am, acting like an idiot

[nikkers04]

Haha we all have our issues no worries. All through highschool my mom was the one always saying if you need it tell me so we can get you on it. After I graduated I just like you decided it was the best choice and I told her about it and she freaked on me haha. But now we just don't even talk about it because really its not her business.

[catgirl82]

yup, its hard to tell your parents this sort of thing. i went on the pill in college- i was able to get it through my student health services for only $8 a month, and my parents never found out.

 

either way, just use condoms for now. those will still offer you protection!!

 

good luck!