Serious Advice Needed. HELP

[evepm]

I have a guy as a bestfriend. We do alot together and he even crashes at my house sometimes. We are just friends.

 

The problem is that I have met someone. We have started seeing each other and don't know how to tell Joe. I don't want Joe to feel like I won't be there for him but, the man that have started seeing has become important to me too. I know that I wouldn't like it if he had a female friend crashing at his house so I feel that it is only fair that I don't have a guy crashing at mine.

 

How do I tell Joe that the bounderies of our friendship have to change? I know that this all may sound silly but Joe has been a great friend and we have been there for each other. But, I know that if I want to have a normal relationship, things have to change. I probably have not expressed how completely distressed I am about this situation. I don't want Joe to feel abandoned but, I know that I have a chance for happiness with the guy I'm dating. I could really use some solid advice on this one.

Thanks

[DN]

Talk to both of them. Explain to the new guy that you have a great friend in Joe and that you don't want to lose him but realise that things have to change - no crashing at the house etc. Make sure he understands what the relationship is about and that Joe is no threat to your relationship with him

 

Then tell Joe about the new guy but say that doesn't mean you lose Joe as a friend but that it does alter how you interact with him.

 

If Joe is a good friend he will understand and be happy for you.

[SeaBisquit]

I agree with DN, just be honst and tell them both the truth.

[evepm]

It sounds so easy to just tell Joe. Right now he is upstairs nursing a hangover and I know that Micheal, they guy I'm seeing, probably would not understand. Joe is going be upset when I not able to let him crash here anymore. This just STINKS! I guess it's not much different then a close girlfriend and having to tell her that I will have less time. It just seems so complicated.

[nikkers04]

I agree tell them both what is going on explain the new man in your life that he is just a friend and explain to your friend that you don't want him crashing over as much.