quickquestion Posted January 7, 2006 Share Posted January 7, 2006 So I posted on the 'Getting Back Together' forum about the fact that I'd recently reunited with my ex from 7 years ago. We broke up when I had to move accross the country for grad school and we lost contact. I always thought of him as 'the one who got away', and so I was thrilled when he contacted me last fall. We now live about 4 hours away from each other. We got together a little over a month ago for dinner and sparks flew. He then flew us out of town for a romantic weekend. Last weekend, I spent New Year's Eve at his house and got an opportunity to meet all of his friends, who I got along with really well. We all had a great time from my perspective. When we first got back together, he would call/text message/e-mail me several times a day. He even went out of the country and managed to contact me every day/every other day. I last chatted with him Wednesday night. He told me he was going out of town for a convention. I haven't heard from him since. He's one of the featured guests at this thing, so I know he's extraordinarily busy, but I sent him a lighthearted text yesterday that he didn't even respond to. This is so out of character for him. When we dated before, he was extraordinarily attentive, but we were in college and both had a lot less going on. I guess I'm just posting here to keep from stalking him like a freak. All the relationship advice we get is so contradictory. Is he 'just not into me anymore?' Is he 'pulling back like a rubber band' and I'm supposed to just chill and wait to see what happens? Is he just genuinely having a busy weekend and not thinking anything at all? I have always been able to be cool about these things because I haven't been very emotionally invested in anyone in awhile. I'm really into this guy, though, and it hurts a lot that he's suddenly backed off. I'm keeping busy, hanging out with other friends, etc., but I really just want him to contact me. Any advice/insight about why this behavior's occurring and what, if anything, I can do? Link to comment
Bethany Posted January 7, 2006 Share Posted January 7, 2006 Just keep doing what you're doing and don't text him anymore. But I would say to him on his return that you were worried because he had not replied and say to him that next time he goes away, would he please let you know if he's ok or not to stop you worrying. It's not much of a request but it's essential to your peace of mind that everything is ok between you. If he cares at all, he 'should' apologise and say that's fine with him. Link to comment
kellbell Posted January 7, 2006 Share Posted January 7, 2006 Hi there! I would sit tight and wait for him to contact you. I know he has a great track record of getting in touch with you but cut him a little slack too. He's probably wining and dining with people at this convention and has his hands tied and probably counting on you to be patient and understand. Any more texts or anything of the like will surely make him back off. Give him a little wiggle room and I am pretty sure you will hear from him very soon. I know it's hard but hang in there. Take care. Link to comment
Jadtt Posted January 7, 2006 Share Posted January 7, 2006 Hi there! I would sit tight and wait for him to contact you. I know he has a great track record of getting in touch with you but cut him a little slack too. He's probably wining and dining with people at this convention and has his hands tied and probably counting on you to be patient and understand. Any more texts or anything of the like will surely make him back off. Give him a little wiggle room and I am pretty sure you will hear from him very soon. I know it's hard but hang in there. Take care. I think this is a great post. I just went to Dallas for 1.5 wks for a business trip. I was teaching the entire time and, afterwards, I was required to mingle with my students and attend several social events. The majority of the time I was out of town I was too busy to contact the man I was seeing. During the day and even at night my phone had to be turned off. Most often I wouldn't get back to the hotel until late at night, too late to call or text. But, I did manage to always return his emails, or phone calls, if I had the availability. Your career can be very demanding. I am an attentive person who always returns calls no matter what and my trip just didn't allow for it. Try to keep this in mind, don't push or pressure him. See what he says when he returns from the convention. Don't beat yourself up or worry too much! Link to comment
here2understand2 Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 agree with all the others..play it cool and dont push him or your expectations..let things take their course, a womans understanding is something that men appreciate because its not often easily achieved..so hang in there and wait for him to talk to you. Link to comment
quickquestion Posted January 9, 2006 Author Share Posted January 9, 2006 So last night, he IM'd me after he got home from his trip. I was thrilled to hear from him, and, of course, made no mention of the fact that I hadn't heard from him in days. I asked him a few questions about his trip, and he cut the conversation short, saying he was tired and "we'll be in touch". This was a guy who, a week ago, would call just to tell me he was thinking of me. Everything was 'sweetie' this and 'baby' that. I've been racking my brain to decide if I could have done anything to make him change his mind about me, but we had a great weekend together over New Year's--he told me how much fun he had, how much his friends loved me, etc. I can't stand the thought of losing this guy again. Is there anything that I can do to salvage this situation? Link to comment
kellbell Posted January 9, 2006 Share Posted January 9, 2006 Hi there! Everything is fine. I know this is hard but it seems that guys don't think the same way as women. Just give him some space and I know things will work out. Asking him any more questions about his trip or doing anything else will make you appear clingy and needy and that will surely make him pull back. Just try to keep busy, let him recuperate from his trip and I am sure he will be back to normal. Link to comment
quickquestion Posted January 13, 2006 Author Share Posted January 13, 2006 Just wanted to give a big thank you to all of you for your advice and support. I got a call today from the guy I'm dating. He had been sick this week/swamped with work/recovering from the convention last weekend, and, of course, had not noticed that we hadn't been talking as frequently as usual. We had a fantastic conversation. Had I called him freaking out instead of posting here, he probably would have been annoyed or thought I was a nutcase. I'm sure glad that you were all here for moral support. Thanks again! Link to comment
krissbrown Posted January 14, 2006 Share Posted January 14, 2006 I think just wait for him to contact you at this point, if you call him again, he may get irriated and annoyed. He may just be very busy and pre-occupied with his job and stuff. Link to comment
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