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this hasn't bothered me until recently. my gf left me because she said i was bottling up emotions and she couldn't deal with it anymore. I haven't cryed once in over 2 yrs and now no matter how sad i get the tears wont flow. From a young age i've told myself that men dont cry and now i seem physically unable to do so, anyone know of a solution?

 

I mean its not like i just haven't had anything happen to make me sad enough, my grampa died a couple of months ago and all i could do was stare stone faced at the coffin, even though i wanted so badly to let go.

 

Also i can't goto a shrink, mainly because i just couldn't face my parents and ask them to receive councilling.

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It sounds like she wants you to cry with her and be extremely expressive in your emotions... but some guys just aren't like that. My boyfriend never cries, either. I used to want him to be expressive, but then I learned most guys just aren't like that... I really don't want him to feel sad over any little thing.. I don't want to deal with it if it was over anything. I WOULD, but I don't want him to be upset over every little thing, is what I mean.

Maybe it's just something she has to learn. To be honest, I think it's great you don't cry... I see nothing wrong with being strong, but then you can be sentimental and be like "ooh crying or not, you can cry and be stronger" ... that's just not what I'm trying to say here, is what I mean.

 

If you think it's some underlying issue, therapy is never bad. But if you're just strong and don't cry... it's just that.

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People express grief in different ways. You should not feel like you "have to" cry. Not everyone (male or female) cries over the death of a loved one. Sometimes the pain/loss is so much, and so devastating, that they just shut down and become almost numb, and can't even cry.

 

However, if you truly WANT to cry and then stop yourself -that is a different story.

 

BellaDonna

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Some people don't cry, that's just the way it is.

 

If you are bottling up emotions then this isn't a good idea. You will find things a lot easier to cope with if you accept them and take the emotions that come with them.

I understand what you say about "men" not supposed to cry...but in reality this is untrue, I think most men do cry and most will be prepared to say they do too.

 

I cry, fairly regularly too lol... I find that sometimes it's all I can do to help myself. There's nothing else I can do and so I may as well let the emotion escape.

 

You should just deal with things however you see fit. Just make sure you don't bottle up your emotions, there is no shame in showing emotion, and you will be much better off for doing it.

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dont bottle up emotions is the first thing. and secound i dont cry either, and im a female. sometimes people just dont cry. it doesnt mean there is something wrong with you. and when you tell yourself something, like men dont cry, or crying is for whimps, your mind is going to believe it and you arent going to cry because you have told your mind that it isnt right for you to cry.

 

again it doesnt make you a freak MILLIONS of men/women dont cry. dont worry about it

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Bottling up emotions is never good. Sometimes you do need to let out a big cry, helps to relax you and helps you deal with how you are feeling. Men cry all the time, any notion that they don't isn't accurate and not healthy. Of course, don't feel pressured that you have to cry. The important thing is to just express how you feel, not try to be the stoic rock all the time who doesn't show any emotion. Talk about things if they are bothering you. It's for your own mental health. People who bottle things up and try to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders just end up dragging themselves down and feeling more and more alone and miserable. Eventually you need to let people in, be vulnerable, and show those kinds of emotions.

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