Just had a huge fight..

[Deveryn]

I need help My girlfriend and I have been having small fights over this one big issue and today we had a huge fight where she ended up hanging up the phone.

 

We've been fighting about an issue that started when she began to hang out with these two guy friends, who I view as disrespecting her and she doesn't. They have made comments about her being a "lazy * * *" and calling her their "dishwasher".They also commented about how they wondered what her breasts tasted like (as a joke, apparently).

 

Yesterday I was on the phone with her and she was in the car with these two guys and one makes the comment about me saying "Mike needs to get off the phone now or else his mom will yell at him." to which she just said "That's not funny"...In my opinion, I don't think that would be enough to make the guy stop making disrespectful comments, but she said she "diffused it" and "dealt with it". (Later on she said she would've said more about it afterwards to him, but I don't remember her ever saying when..she took it to offense that I asked her if she would've dealt with it later since she thought of it as a trust issue..I had no idea she would've said anything later when the argument started)

 

Today we got in a fight and I tried to tell her that I felt they were disrespecting her a lot, and that it was totally wrong of them to make those comments. She said the comments about her were all jokes, and that the one towards me "just needs to be let go".

 

Do you think she handled it well? Should I just have let it go? I'm so confused =( I was so jumbled in my thoughts that she felt like I was "pushing her into a corner" by bringing this up, saying that I was accusing her of not handling it right, even though I only ment to say how it was disrespectful of him..without critisizing her.

She said she would've "handled it" later but she feels I don't have enough trust in her.

 

I am so lost Was I wrong to bring this up? Should I have let it go? Was it wrong for me to question whether or not she handled it right (even though I didn't even mean to, she just took it as that... ](*,) I probably didn't express my thoughts well enough)

 

I'm sorry for the long post, it's probably hard to understand because my thoughts are racing a mile a minute right now, but I'm in desperate need of help.

[BellaDonna]

I am so lost Was I wrong to bring this up? Should I have let it go?

 

Well....seeing that now they're not just making comments about her- but they're also making comments about YOU- then it is your business and I don't think you were wrong to bring it up.

 

Her friends sound quite immature and antagonistic. Maybe it is their sense of humor- but that's no excuse for them to act socially inept or rude to others.

 

Your GF sounds like she becomes quite passive while in their presense too. I think you need to have a talk with her- face-to-face, and without them around.

 

Although it is unfair for you to try to tell her who she can and can't be friends with- you may want to encourage her to think more critically about this friendship. Ask her what she gains from the friendship, and also how it makes her feel when they make offensive comments about her and you.

 

BellaDonna