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long distance makes it hard for me to help her

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i've been in a long distance relationship with a girl who lives 4 hours away. we've been in one for about a couple of years. we see each other and i've stayed over her house more than a couple of times, but we have been seeing less of each other lately because of school and work for me.


when we were in high school she had friends but once the year ended, they ended up not talking to each other because of a long list of things. assumptions and such. so when we started going to college, calling each other everyday, she's been feeling really really lonely. she doesn't have any friends now and i'm the only person she really talks to. and this REALLY worried me because i know that's unhealthy. because of that PLUS the distance, we've been getting into fights more often. her homelife isn't that swell at all, she lives with her single mother in a small apartment. she doesn't have a license and her mom is very overprotective. she doesn't let her do anything. she occasionally talks to people at her college but as far as hanging out with people and getting rides, her mom won't let her have it. she's 20 and i'm 19.


a week ago she bursted into emotion about how she feels nobody is friendly with her and how she thinks everyone doesn't want to be friends with her. even if she catches me in a bad mood on the phone, she automatically makes these wild assumptions. which aggravate me even more. it really really bothers me that i can't help her being so far away. if she lived closer, i would definitely be with her all the time and help her out and encourage her to make friends. she sees it that way too.


well since she's older now, we both came up with a plan one day for her to come down here and visit me and meet my family. so until then, it's been like this. she's a sweet girl who i really love talking to, it's just the constant phone conversations suck it all out sometimes because of the fact that we're talking on the phone.


she plans to stay up there for a couple more years for school or try to move down here when she's out of school. but i'm not sure what to think now. i love her and everything - it's just her problems create a huge problem for me. and i have enough problems already. don't get me wrong, i DO listen to her. but sometimes i just wish she was a little more independent.


i need some insight to rearrange everything in place.


thank you

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Hey there,


I know someone far from me in a similar position I also wish I could help.


All you can do is be a good friend in everyway possible. Offer your support and love.


Apart from that there is nothing you can do... that's what I think anyway. But support and love are really all people neeed from other people - if you can do this for her you will be dong all that is possible.

Encourage her to talk and to keep her hopes up - but you can't make her feel anything... you can only make her feel loved. So to me, that's all you can do.


I might PM you if I need advice about this sort of thing too, hopefully you won't mind

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