Still reminded of verbal abuse

[journalstar4]

I do have a good relationship here, only actaully hit b/f on two occasions, once in a while do yell, but that's just it. Wut bothers me at times is this that till today still seems fresh in my mind, I'm 20 already but it's like it just happened today, are those words "U know, if u were my daughter I would have killed u already, u look just like ur mother and I hate u" or "I was doomed the day u were born, all I ever wish was a boy, and no, it had to be a girl, I hate u, wish u were dead already". Thought he would apologize afterwards it would be those same mean words. The weird thing with dad is he never hit me nor mom, but the words were horrible, if he got mad, he would say the meanest words ever. Sometimes I thinks words are worst than hitting. Now I'm ok, but it's once in a while those words come back.

[DN]

Does your b/f think that it is a good relatioonship because you have only hit him twice and once in a while yell?

[journalstar4]

Well, he has already told me that I need help, but I'm ok, just them words coming back at times.

[journalstar4]

And at times wish there was some way I would get rid of those words, something that would make me not get reminded of them, but it doesn't go away.

[LuvstuffNStuff]

Wow, what awful awful things to say to you, if I was ever placed in a position like that, and my dad talked to me like that, he would lose the daughter, he claimed he never wanted. If he felt that way, then he would be out of my life, and I would move on healing. Then when the time would come, and he was all alone in his own little world, feeling lonely? he deserves it all, he would deserve to live a life of lonliness.

[ShySoul]

Words and attitudes do hurt more then fists. They leave an impression on you that stays with you for years. Physically hurting someone, scars and bones can heal. But the emotional damage of knowing that someone would say or do such things to you when they are suppose to love you.... that gets into your very soul and causes you pain and anguish for years.

 

Our relationship with our parents affect us in ways we aren't even aware of. journalstar4, if you read this, I think you do need to talk to someone about these issues. Only hitting your boyfriend a couple times isn't right, and it is a sign that you haven't fully resolved the issues with your father. Better to deal with this now, the longer you put it off, the harder it will be because you have all these years of built up angry and insecurities.