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Calling at night!


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Ok My boyfriend and I have had our problems, ( I am sure plenty have read)

 

my boyfriend) seems to have the problem of calling me at night. He has done this in the past. I would call him more, so I guess he felt he didnt have to call as much.

 

The thing is we live an hour and half apart. And we basically only see each other about 2-3 times per week. (maybe more)

 

And I for the past two nights have been going to bed early. I have asked him to call me before he goes to bed at night.

 

And has for gotten to both nights. He has done this in he past so it really gets underneath my skin!

 

I havent screamed and yelled about it, I just bring it up! For some reason it hurts my feelings that he forgets!

 

Do you think I have a right in being upset about this?

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What does he say when you 'bring it up'. Do you call him if he forgets?

 

I don't know if you have a right to be upset over this.. combined with the other issues, probably, as there is probably something more to it, but I don't know what he has told you.

 

I have never had a boyfriend "forget" to call me though honestly. And believe me when I say my current partner has a extremely short memory and tends to forget things quite a lot, he never "forgets to call". I imagine because he WANTS to call, even if he does not remember saying he would, or me asking him too.

 

I don't know, I think it's hard to "forget" to call when you are pretty into someone....you certainly did not "forget" he was going to call, right? Would you "forget" to call him?

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If I were you, I would just turn off the phone before you go to sleep. Like RayKay said, is everything else in the relationship fine? If so, then maybe he is just really forgetful.

 

In any case, just turn off the phone. He can remember to call you earlier...

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I agree with RayKay. Usually, it shouldn't ever be an issue about forgetting to call the other person, because that partner should just generally want to call. Is there something else going on in the relationship that is upsetting you?

 

If not, then maybe he is honestly forgetful, busy, etc. Or maybe he just needs to learn some good old fashioned relationship manners.

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Have just read some of your other posts and it seems this is a very troubled relationship - you wanting threesomes, not enough emotional support, withholding sex, breaking up, getting back together, commitment issues, etc. Now this.

 

Maybe you need to have a serious talk about where you both see this relationship headed.

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Have just read some of your other posts and it seems this is a very troubled relationship - you wanting threesomes, not enough emotional support, withholding sex, breaking up, getting back together, commitment issues, etc. Now this.

 

Maybe you need to have a serious talk about where you both see this relationship headed.

 

Bingo...would be one thing if this was the *only* issue, but you need to start looking at this in it's entirety, and not as separate issues onto themselves.

 

There seems to be a lot of toxicity in this relationship, that goes deeper then him forgetting to call you now and then.

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I know this is not your only issue, but did you ever hear the saying "you attract more bees with honey than vinegar." Well, to me it means that you attract people and get them to want things when they get good things from it, not scolded or something like it.

 

What happens when he calls when you ask him to? What happens when he does not? Well, when he calls you talk and that's probably that. When he doesn't you get upset and back away from him or get or whatever.

 

What about if he got rewarded when he did something you liked, and which he did not normally do? It need not be big. If he calls at night when you ask, it could jsut be a big kiss to thank him when you next see him.

 

You cannto do it all the time, but if done unpredictably, it works well.

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I have been thinking about it, and its not really that big of a deal! He is forgetful, which he has been doing really well.

 

The other issues we have we seem to be working on, The communitcation has improved, we have been spending more time together. I just some times feel I over react to stuff. And I have been trying to work on this. People make mistakes so I need to learn to chill on little stuff like this for example!

 

Umm the 3some thing, is probably never going to happen.

 

But I think for the most part we have improved on alot of stuff. Hopefully we can still get better. Win (boyfriend) has been trying his hardest, and I have been trying as well

 

Thanks for your thoughts!

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