Day 8

[nikkers04]

So today is day 8 and on day 0 we decided we would hang out on day 30. That might be a little confussing sorry. But do you guys think its a good idea to catch up in 30 days?

[Danny H]

I guess it is like being on a rowing machine-you set off saying "I'll do 1000 metres"- and at 950 you think I can do more I need to go on".

 

See how you feel, at day 27 you might feel good, will it be because you have had a break, or will it be because you are going to speak to them- you must look deep and be honest with yourself.

 

If you feel some healing, then why set yourself back?

 

Dan

[Frangipani]

I can identify with this totally. I have done a month of NC now. The person in question has not contacted me (apart from a Xmas message where they said they missed me and still had feelings - even though they have someone new). I told them I couldn't be best friends at the moment becuase I still have such strong feelings for them and would not be contacting them for a month. During this time my feelings of love have not changed, but my ability to cope on a day to day basis has improved a hell of a lot and I think I'm am nearing the point where I no longer feel 'addicted' to having to have them in my life.

 

I am very unsure as to whether I should begin talking again.Most of me did this to heal myself, take control of my life and prevent more pain, but honestly, a part of me did it hoping they would miss me and would leave their 'rebound' relationship and want me back. I'm only human.

 

Wait and see how you feel towards the end of the 30 days. I'm going to continue past the month until I feel I'm not going to become the blubbering idiot I was 4 weeks ago. Right now - I can't be sure.

[octopus]

I was the dumpee. So I'm writing this from that point of view.

I still have hopes that NC or LC will let him understand I'm completely out of his life, and maybe he'll miss me or realize that he isn't as happy without me as he thought he would be. So if, at the time of break-up, we'd said "We'll talk in 30 days", I think this would have given him some sort of power, some thought like "She's there, waiting to get back with me...I'll see her in 30, 29, 28.... days..." or "Oh I have to see her in 3 days...".

 

So although during that time it is possible that you completely heal and forget about your ex, it is also possible that you meet him/her with the hopes of hearing something you wanted to hear for 30 days, and you won't.

 

I guess telling yourself 30 days and NOT informing the other would have been better; especially IF you were the dumpee.

 

Good luck and keep us informed.

[pos69sum]

i said 'we'll talk in 2 months'.

she said 'make that 1 month'.

i don't ever intend to contact her again. even if she contacts me in one month. whether she feels she has any 'power' over me does not matter to me at this point. my goal is to get over it, preferably without her.

[coooolsome]

Basically you told your ex that you are going to wait. If you get a call to hang out on day 30, make sure you have other plans. You are busy. Maybe some other time. Basically he said, Im going to have some fun, give me 30 days and I will see how I feel then and I might come back, but I probably wont b/c you will wait.

[Bethany]

By sitting and waiting for day 30, nothing much will change. You need to move on properly. You're single, so act it. I don't mean screw around or anything but certainly enjoy life, do something new, get out there and have some fun and stop counting the days.