Boyfriend is rescheduling dates...should I say something?

[McSushi]

I'm in a new relationship, and I want to start things off on a good note. I have been dating this guy for a little over a month and so far things are going great. He has his own business and works a lot so sometimes he complains about being tired, etc. He has cancelled and rescheduled about 2 dates so far due to him being tired from working a lot. Should I make a big deal about this little habit, should I say something? I'm just wondering if maybe I'm being too passive by being okay with him rescheduling dates or if I'm not being understanding to his "workoholism"? I know that when he does ask me out on a date I'm always up for it...maybe I'm coming accross as too available?

 

Any advice?

McSushi!

[nikkers04]

I would say don't get mad it sounds like he is busy...maybe suggest hanging out at his house and watch a rented movie or something...if he objects to that...then I'd say it would be ok to be a little concerned.

[heavensent]

He seems like a busy guy and you knew that when you started dating him. Maybe it was just a super stressful week for him, but I wouldn't say anything just yet. You might end up pushing him away if you do. He is a career man, and it means a lot to him. Try to understand that. If this isn't the sort of relationship you want in the future, maybe you ought to consider calling it quits. Sometimes different lifestyles conflict too much and if it bothers you this much now, eventually the relationship will come to an end anyway.

Give it some time, see what happens.

[RayKay]

I'm in a new relationship, and I want to start things off on a good note. I have been dating this guy for a little over a month and so far things are going great. He has his own business and works a lot so sometimes he complains about being tired, etc. He has cancelled and rescheduled about 2 dates so far due to him being tired from working a lot. Should I make a big deal about this little habit, should I say something? I'm just wondering if maybe I'm being too passive by being okay with him rescheduling dates or if I'm not being understanding to his "workoholism"? I know that when he does ask me out on a date I'm always up for it...maybe I'm coming accross as too available?

 

Any advice?

McSushi!

 

That depends on the reasons they were cancelled. 2 is not a lot in a month, I have had to do the same when meetings ran late, when there was a project due, it does happen. When it's your own business, you also can't just leave, and it is a 24 hour a day thing sometimes!

 

As long as he respects your time too (and you don't reschedule to whatever works for him, but also to what works for you!) then now and then, it happens. I don't know if you are being too passive, depends on how you react when he cancels, and how you reschedule. If he cancels on a Thursday, and you say okay, Friday (even if you have plans already) right away, maybe. If instead you say, well, weekend is pretty booked, how about Tuesday....maybe not so much.

 

But, you also have to decide if your lifestyles are compatible. If he is a workaholic, and you aren't - you may balance each other out, but you may also find a big conflict.

[McSushi]

That's great advice RayKay. I do realize having your own business can be tough because you have to wear many different hats and it can be very stressful when your doing it all by yourself pretty much. I am understanding to that..just wanted to hear other people's input on this. I myself work full-time, sometimes overtime, and I have my singing engagements so at times I can be pretty busy myself. Well, I see him twice a week anyways, because we attend the same church, lol.

Yeah, 2 dates canceling/rescheduling is not too bad. I guess I am paranoid because my ex used to cancel, flake, show up late, stand me up ALL THE TIME and I tolerated it for 5 months (my fault I know). So I want to be wise about things early on in a relationship to prevent repeating this same mistake.

 

I think I just won't be as readily available if he cancels/reschedules next time, it will have to be to my convenience.