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Hey all... i think my boyfriends still obcessed with his exgf who treats him like garbage! what do i do?



Here's the background info: I've been seeing my BF since July... For awhile he was hesitant about even using "boyfriend and girlfriend" titles but we have since about November.... everything is normally great between us except for one area. His ex girlfriend is always the cause of problems and fights between us. They dated for two years (and it ended about 2 and half years ago). She broke up with him and and has been dating another guy for almost 2 years. My BF and her are still friends.. if you want to call it that. Whatever she says... he will do. Over the summer when we were more casually dating, he would hang out with her a lot and she would get mad when he was spending so much time with me. While he was on the phone with her I heard her make snide remarks/jokes about me. In the end of October I found pictures of her half naked (aka dressed to go out to a bar) in his phone which he said was from April.


And now to my current problem.......a month ago, he left his email open on my computer and I saw a letter sent to her. ***now i know it was wrong to open the email but curiosity got the best of me and i did... it basically was asking her if he could practice a private massage on her because he wants to learn how to do it better. She replied no. (thank god!) I confessed to my bf that i read it and he apologized and said he was just asking her because she is like a "sister" to him now and felt comfortable with her to learn something new/better that he wanted to use on ME! in the future.



Anyway, she calls him 4-5 days a week and text messages him too, whenever i am with him she is contacting him in some way.. i told him i was uncomfortable with it but that i didn't want to be the overbearing gf who says dont talk to this person or that person. I don't think he will cheat on me and i have faith in my relationship with him but whenever she says jump he says how high. she is very manipulative and is getting mad that she no longer has him available every minute to her. He says he wont let her take advantage of him anymore but i don't believe it. Although, He is helping her paint a room in her house next week (because he says he agreed to it long ago and cant back out) It just seems he is doing a lot of things i would assume her boyfriend should be doing.



.....SO i am asking all of you out there for any opinions/advice/comments you have on my situation. Am i being too overly jealous? and do you think it is normal for exes to contact each other so much? I am afraid that i am being unhealthily jealous or getting to insecure but i dont know what to do. Anyway sorry this post is so long, respond if you have time! thanks!



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No Dice.....you are NOT acting TOO jealous OR possessive!!!! My question is more along the lines of WHY are you putting UP with this????


I have very low tolerance for disrespect...and it angers me when I see OTHER people put up with it. (Maybe thats a personality flaw)...


Your ex has NO obligation to this girl . If they had children together, then YES that would be acceptable... heck I have known ex;es WITH kids who dont have this much contact!! Your b/f is still making excuses to be in contact with this woman.


I cannot tell you how to deal with this...except to say, if you put up with it..he is going to ASSUME you think it's acceptable. You need to put your foot down NOW and say..no more. Her or ME. This really IS unacceptable behavior.

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It is clearly bothering you and you shouldn't put up with this. If he wants to continue running after his ex then let him run after his ex. You don't need to deal with that - you can find someone a lot better. Even if you stay with him I don't think it will change, if u ask him to change things he'll probably keep contact with her behind your back and he'll keep running after her same as he always did. Seriously, I would consider moving on.

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Wow...I think you are a saint to have put up with this for so long. I know you are not serious yet but even so, this situation is bothering you and he should have more respect for you than that. I think that the first bad sign was not wanting to call you his girlfriend. I am afraid you might be a stand in for her until he can get her back. Do you have any doubt what might happen if she was available?? It sounds like she wants to keep him in her life in case the current guy doesn't work out. I would move on to someone who is available!

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