So I emailed my ex who said he hates me...

[Ruthlah]

I've been posting on here for a while, and recently I posted asking what to do about my ex who changed his phone number, told me he hates me and never wants to hear from me again. The reason he did this is because I couldn't let go, I couldn't stop crying and trying to get him back. I went on a few dates to try and make myself feel better and he found out, resulting in him changing his phone number. I'm still so upset that we have no contact, and there are so many mistakes I want to apologize to him for that I wasn't in the state of mind to apologize for before.

 

I'm just curious, I emailed him today telling him I'm sorry for everything and I would love to talk to him (not in a pathetic way) actually, I'll post the email under this post, what's the range I should expect until I know he will not write me back???

 

thanks, here's what I wrote him

 

 

What I really wanted to say is I'm sorry for everything that I've done wrong. I didn't "move on so fast" Ry, I tried, thinking maybe you were right. Maybe it would make me happier, but you were right about that too. I can't be with anyone right now if I'm still not nearly over us.

 

I still have so much on my mind and I've discovered so many things about myself I never wanted to see. You weren't all wrong Ryan, and I wasn't all right. I quit drinking about 3 weeks ago, and I really have this time. I know you probably don't believe me, but when we were together I thought you didn't want me to drink so you could control me, not so you could help me. But it does help me. Since I've stopped I've been 500 per cent happier, I'm not so depressed and I can cope with stress much easier. It may not mean much to you anymore, but it means the world to me and I wanted you to know since you and Sam are the reasons I stopped.

 

I haven't been alone in a really long time, and it's really scary, but I think I'm getting used to it and it's not really all that bad. I'm so sorry Ryan that I didn't give you the space you needed to be my friend, and I can't sleep at night thinking that I may never hear from you again. I love you as a person Ryan and you're always in my heart, whether you care or not.

 

I'm not going to cry over you and if you decide you do want to call me I'm not going to cry TO you or try and guilt trip you or anything like that. I'm not holding on to our relationship anymore Ryan, I know that's gone and passed. But I really want to be your friend, because you're still the person I want to call when something good happens or something not so good. I really miss you Ry, and I hope you can call me or at least let me know you don't hate me (if you don't). If you don't call, try and write me back if you have the time.

 

I hope everything's going good in your life, I started painting and it would be really cool if I could show you my stuff.

 

i love you

ruth

[Lady Bugg]

That sounded heartfelt. Give him some time to absorb it.....

 

Did you have a drinking problem? What caused the breakup?

[Hope75]

Honey,

 

If he said he never wanted to talk to you again, and changed his number, why are you wasting your precious time on him?

 

Don't you want someone who wants you back?

 

You are worth it girl, believe that.

 

It doesn't make sense to continue to push someone who's asked to be left alone.

[sonjam]

I agree with Hope, take the e-mail you sent as a "closure" move, and stop wasting more time on this. Moving on means moving on, not hanging on. One day, if and when he is ready again, he will call or write, from your side, NOTHING, try to focus on your life now, without him. It really is for the best.

[Ruthlah]

Hi.

 

I do have a drinking problem. It's not that I think I'm an alcoholic, but I don't know myself enough to know what keeps me occupied. So I would drink when I was bored. We broke up for numerous reasons, one being a trust issue. He began receiving phone calls and racey text messages from a girl I'd never heard of before. When I asked him about it, he said the girl was his best friend he's know forever. I never heard her name before. We got into a huge fight about it, and I was hysterical. The next day he was at work and I was home, I said we needed to talk, but I started drinking at like 2pm. By the time he came home I was trashed and there was a lot of screaming and it was all around ugly.

He was going to move out and we would stay together, but we both knew in our hearts that wasn't going to happen.

 

The thing is, I DON'T want to be with him. I know we were bad together, but I love him and I really want to be his friend. Now I just feel abandoned and nothing is easing it.

[Hope75]

Hi Ruth,

 

I'm sorry that this is so hard for you.

 

I know that you want to be friends with him, but you know many times after a relationship one or both partners find it too hard to maintain a friendship, there's just too much history or unresolved hurt or feelings there, and it's difficult.

 

Right now he's asking to be left alone. As a friend to him, you want to respect his wishes, don't you? You deserve to have friends who want to talk with you and treat you with respect. If he isn't ready, that's understandable, and there are plenty of other friends out there to lean on and pick from.

 

Besides that, put yourself in his shoes. If you wanted to be left alone, wouldn't it frustrate and upset you to no end to be contacted all the time?