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Is the past ever really in the past?

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It's a bit hard for me to give you advice based on what you have posted.


He had to move away and we weren't allowed to speak to eachother (and still aren't)


Your profile says you are 23 and he is older...how can you be not allowed to speak to each other.


I am not surprised that you are finding it hard to let go as it seems you have had no closure of any type at all.


Is there something missing in your post?

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You poor thing, how confusing for you. Hey - I'm 40 and new relationships are just as confusing. That's small comfort, I know. It should get easier as you get older. I guess what I am learning is to communicate a bit more openly and a bit more constructively - and it's working. My suggestion for you is this: stop reading those particular self-help books - you seem to be reading things that will point out what YOU did wrong to create this situation. You didn't do anything wrong. You were just open to a new relationship and maybe he wasn't. He might have some hangups - nothing to do with you - who knows? Maybe when you talk to him next time, you can openly say "Look, I feel very confused about what I thought was going on with us - I thought we were friends, but you seem to have shut me out. Is there anything you want to talk about?". If he is still closed, then yes, it is time to move on. But don't wait until then - (late summer - where are you? Even late summer in my part of the world (Australia) would be too long in my opinion). ou have a wonderful life to live, and today is a new day full of possibilities.


Don't blame yourself. Some people come into your life and make a big impact, but they are not there to stay. I'm sure you gave all you had - just some people aren't at a stage in their lives where they can accept. It's a lesson they need to learn.


Please don't feel weak for saying you have feelings for this guy. There is nothing weak about feeling strongly. It is very brave and takes a tremendous amount of courage. You sound like a loving, giving, really nice person. I hope you will meet someone who deserves you.


All the best,


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melrich: I am not 23, some how I messed up my age lol I know that sounds stupid but idunno how it got like that. I am younger than 20 btw. And I'm sure there are things missing in the post, I guess I'm just not sure what to say. We will be talking soon but can't right now and maybe that is just the answer: "I am not surprised that you are finding it hard to let go as it seems you have had no closure of any type at all." what you said. I also am wondering why he keeps mentioning talking to me if he is in an other relationship? Does this mean anything?

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