lost, empty, depressed

[HurtMe]

i feel really weird lately, mainly depressed i think i dunno

 

been like it the past 2 years almost i dunno how to turn my life around it all started with a women

 

i had been friends with her for like ummm years...

 

after getting drunk i ended up in bed with her and making out with her, i had a crush on her for ages and i really didn't want anything to happen with her because i knew i would end up feeling like this but for 2 years ?!?!?!?

 

anyway after the kissing and stuff, she cut her self up really bad, turns out she self harms, i had her bleed,crying and talking to me till about 8AM, i had no idea what to do , except leave her alone and only talk to her about stuff if she wanted to (unless she wanted to spk to me) i know she never felt the same way about me as i did about her

 

she now hates my guts, as she had so many issues, had tons of one night stands, keept flirting with me and leading me on when ever we where togeather, and generally taking advantage of me and my feelings for her, in the end i told her i couldn't see anymore and i haven't for almost a year...

 

i'm a shy sort of guy, i find it really hard to meet women and wouldn't have meet her if it wasen't for my sisters...

 

she was the 1st women i kissed at 24, since then i've kissed about 3 random women in clubs (none of them i really liked...but they seemed to like me...)

 

im just feeling so down and it feels like it's gonna last forever

 

why can't i feel like i used to before HER not happy, but definatly not depressed or lonely or sad ](*,)

 

HELP?!

[darkblue]

First things first,

If you think you are depressed - as in: mentally ill. You should see a doctor.

 

Do you not talk to her, at all, anymore?

Would you consider dropping her an email?

[registered]

Yeah HurtMe, I'm the kind of person who doesn't just kiss people for the sake of it (not that I've kissed anyone ever lol).

But I mean, why kiss women you don't really like just for the sake of it? Maybe you are depressed about some of this stuff because you're not being true to yourself?

Many people are cool with kissing or getting with random girls but this doesn't mean it is something everyone should do... if it is what is making you uncomfortable and depressed because it just isn't you then you should stop doing it

 

You say your problems started with women... well the other consistency in these instances has been behaviour that you hadn't really done before (like kissing girls and whatever). So maybe you are just trying to do things that just aren't you?

 

That woman who cut herself, that had nothing to do with you. You were the one taken advantage of. She had her own issues to deal with you shouldn't feel responsible in any way.

Don't be hard on yourself about allowing yourself to be taken advantage of though - it wasn't your fault.

 

And like darkblue said... talk to someone. It won't last forever - it feels hopeless now but it isn't hopeless and you just need to be strong and you'll get through it. Look at the positive things in life and make sure you are always more than happy to ask for help.

[fantasia2004]

First things first,

If you think you are depressed - as in: mentally ill. You should see a doctor.

 

Do you not talk to her, at all, anymore?

Would you consider dropping her an email?

 

 

love your signatures dark blue!

 

sorry to take away the meaning behind this thread

[darkblue]

Hey Fantasia, I PM'd you - I don't want to hijack.

[fantasia2004]

Hey Fantasia, I PM'd you - I don't want to hijack.

 

got it. thanks

[registered]

got it. thanks

LOL!

 

I thought I'd just add this:

after getting drunk i ended up in bed with her and making out with her, i had a crush on her for ages and i really didn't want anything to happen with her because i knew i would end up feeling like this but for 2 years ?!?!?!?

You say you didn't want anything to happen and when it did you became sad...so I think yeah you weren't being true to who you are.

 

i'm a shy sort of guy, i find it really hard to meet women and wouldn't have meet her if it wasen't for my sisters...

Don't give up on meeting women, just make sure you do it in ways that YOU are comfortable in doing. Don't worry about how other people meet women, do it YOUR way.

[HurtMe]

First things first,

If you think you are depressed - as in: mentally ill. You should see a doctor.

 

Do you not talk to her, at all, anymore?

Would you consider dropping her an email?

 

hey thanks for all the replies

 

i did see a doctor about a year a go, he reffered me for councilling but i never heared anything again and never bothered going back...

 

yeah i don't talk to her anymore....mind you no one in the group of friends really doe's and she has some new bf atm who is majorly jelous and don't let her out much or answer her own phone, she also don't have an email address.....

[darkblue]

If you believe you are clinically depressed - you must go back to your doctor.

[perfectliljewel]

i think you should give the counciling thing a shot(thats amazing coming from my mouth) the doctor may be able to find out why you are so bothered with this.

 

you are probably not very happy about how she is being treated now... which is making you feel worse, but not everything that happened that night is your fault it was HER choice to hurt herself, you didnt make her(i hope). dont blame EVERYTHING on you.

[HurtMe]

i think you should give the counciling thing a shot(thats amazing coming from my mouth) the doctor may be able to find out why you are so bothered with this.

 

 

i dunno about the councilling, i'm not over keen on going back to the doc's, just feels like im wasting thier time...

 

you are probably not very happy about how she is being treated now... which is making you feel worse, but not everything that happened that night is your fault it was HER choice to hurt herself, you didnt make her(i hope). dont blame EVERYTHING on you.

 

yeah, i know stuff happened between us, it didn't go as far as sex, because i didn't want to lose her as a friends (now i relise it wouldnt have made any difference) she txt some guy and went to another room to have phone sex with him, after stuff happened between us...then came back, grabbed a load of stuff and was like im going to get a glass of water, brb and went off to the kitchen to cut her self i sat down and talked to her for like 3 or 4 hours ](*,) she was trying to get rid of me, coz all she wanted to do was cut her self, i left her alone for like 10 mins and found her on the floor cover in blood managed to get her to clean her self up and stop the bleeding and after that things where just screwed, and i been feeling like * * * * ever since, i thought i'd feel better with time, but it'll been 2 years in feb since this stuff happened and i still feel really depressed and lonely and stuff

 

i thought time was ment to heal all wounds ?

[perfectliljewel]

hun, like i said earlier, you can not blame yourself for what she did. that was HER mistake not yours you HAVE to understand that. you did not make her do what she did. i dont know what else to tell you though. you can always PM me if you want to talk.