I dont know what to do!

[cryxforxhelp]

Okay, i really dont know what to do anymore. I've liked this guy Tyler for awhile now, and we've been like hooking up, but he is usally drunk everytime we do. so everytime someone gives him crap about it or something he uses the excuse he was drunk. but the last time we hooked up he was sober. and i mean when we are together he's the biggest sweetheart in the world. but then sometimes he's a major @$$ to me and wont even talk to me. but i'm the one that took his virginity and he never had a girlfriend before. and all his friends say he likes me, he's just scared to admit it. but im sick of waiting for him because if he doesnt want me one night i'll sit there and cry all night because he wouldnt even look at me. but when we do hook up he just makes everything better. and i like him so much. i just dont know what to do anymore. i dont know if i want to wait this long. because i cry all the time over him. and i dont know if he wants to be serious or not and everytime i try to talk to him he'll ignore me. or when i talk to him when we're hooking up. he'll tell me he likes me and he does those like little things. like the little things you can tell when someone does like you. i know he does. i just want him to admit it but i dont know if he will or not. im just so confused and my friends dont like him so they tell me just to say screw it. but i like him a lot. andi want to make things work. i dont know if he's just scared, or what. help!

[catgirl82]

cryforhelp

this boy might like you a teensy bit but he does not like you enough for you to want to have a relationship with him. i dont want to sound blunt or harsh, but i think he is just hooking up with you and thats it. youre letting him get away with it so hes going to keep doing it. what boy wouldnt? (ok, some wouldnt). he ignores you and the only time you can talk to him is when youre hooking up? something is seriously wrong. this is NOT how boys act when they like you. youre confusing physical intimacy with emotional intimacy. you have to realize that a lot of people hook up just to hook up, for the physical pleasure. that is perfectly ok, ive done it too, BUT you have to acknowledge that this hookup is just for pleasure and nothing more. it sounds like you cant handle keeping it at that so you need to stop torturing yourself.

[registered]

Yeah, I also think he likes to hook up with you every now and then and that's about the extent of it.

If he is doing things to make you like him so he can hook up with you then you must realise that he is doing this things simply to hook up with you and nothing more. Is this possible?

 

A guy who likes you won't make you cry (unless they are tears of joy )

[cryxforxhelp]

i understand. but i mean like when we're together he's different. i dont really know how to explain it. but i've had a lot of one night stands with guys. and he acts different from the rest. and he has admitted he has liked me to other people but he doesnt know what to do with the situation. and when he's all * * * *ed up on vicodine (which he is a lot) he's a * * * * but when he's sober or drunk he's nice and talks, and sits with me. he's a really sweet boy but its only when we're together. and like i know he prolly only wants to hook up but i keep telling myself not to believe that because i still have all this hope for him. but then again part of me thinks he's scared because he never has been in a relationship and im the first girl he was really with. so he might be afraid of commitment. but maybe im just fooling myself

[registered]

but i mean like when we're together he's different.

Maybe that is the "beauty" of his ways?

 

Messed up on vicodin? Um, ok...

If he is ever a jerk to you then I'd take that seriously... wouldn't he still do this if he was in a relationship with you or not?

You say that he is only sweet when he's with you like that is ok... to me it seems like you are trying to rationalise his behaviour.

 

but then again part of me thinks he's scared because he never has been in a relationship and im the first girl he was really with

Maybe, maybe.

Maybe this is even what attracts you to him?

Ultimately his actions are what are important. He is either going to want a relationship or he isn't. You can try if you like to get him to commit (if you are willing to do this...), but ultimately it is only whether or not he actually commits that is important.

And I wouldn't wait for him forever - there are billions of other guys out there who will want a relationship.

[cryxforxhelp]

yeah, i know i should get over him and move on. and that's what im trying to do. but i see him way to much. and its hard. thanks for the help. i think i finally realized its never going to work out.