My Friend Has Been A Real Jerk Lately.

[ScreamingInfidelities]

I know it's long! I'm sorry! But I would appreciate it so much if you read it and gave me your input!

 

I met this guy last year in 8th grade and I thought, "Wow, he's a great friend!" And he really was all year. When we first got to high school, things were still the same, we hung out at lunch and talked a lot. Lately we haven't been hanging out as much, which I completely understand and I'm okay with because I know that we've met more people and growing apart is natural when moving to high school.

 

So then why am I disappointed in the way he's been acting lately?

 

Everytime we do talk, maybe every other day, he always talks to me just to get out whatever he's angry about, and it's completely irrelevant to me or us. Then, if we do have lunch together maybe once every week or so, all he'll talk about is his cross country team and how he hates everyone on the team. And since I'm on the volleyball team, if he does bring anything that has to do with me in the conversation, he'll just insult what I can do. For example, he'll be like, "Oh you're so lucky because you don't have to do anything in volleyball," "all you do is stand around" And he'll try to persuade me why cross country is better. I mean, it's fine and good to have a passion, but don't try and tell me to love something I won't or take away what I love. And I told him that straightforward, but he just kinda rejected it. He basically just talks about himself, constantly and I'll be kinda looking away and he'll make it seem like I don't care.

 

And then there's this, 'I Go To You When I Have No One Else' thing when he doesn't have anyone else to call so he'll call me or when he'll only come to me because he wants something.

 

And then since we both played soccer in middle school, now, he's always trying to criticize me about how I play or tell me how horrible I am and he'll definitely deflate my self-esteem. The thing that pisses me off about this is that I'm always like, "So why don't you go out for the team?" or "I don't see you on the team after school running with the soccer guys?" HE'S ALL TALK AND NO FREAKING ACTION. I mean, I'm the one who's actually trying!!! The one who's out there everyday at practice and he wants to come and tell me how horrible I am.

 

Then there's this 'You Don't Talk to Me So I'm Gonna Get Pissed Off and Grow A Temper And Then Totally Rub It In Your Face So Someone Will Notice Me' !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he is a jerk, mostly all the time lately, and he's around me, he'll completely give this attitude, he won't talk, he'll make that face and start kicking things and then he'll get pissed off at me and how I won't talk.

 

Lastly, the one thing that makes me mad the most is that we both played cello in the middle school orchestra, I sat principal chair, and he sat 2nd. We're both now in the high school orchestra and there are definitely a lot more people so we don't sit near each other. We have night rehearsals once a week so I'll get there early just to hang out, and he'll be there so he'll be like, "Oh, Bring your cello over here next to me so we can just sit and play together like old times" So I do I move next to him and we start playing our pieces and then when I stop to grab a bite of food from food that I brought to munch on, he'll get pissed off because I stopped playing. LIKE REALLY PISSED. The whole angry face and hitting the stand. Here's the thing though, and then when more people start to come and I'm stitting there and they come up to me when we're talking he'll hit my back, not a pat, he'll hit me, and I feel like saying, "You have no right to do that, stop." But he'll hit me and give me this face like, 'hey, stop talking to everyone else, pay attention to me'. So I'm like, "Hey, just hold on a sec." But NOOOOOOO HE'LL JUST KEEP TAPPING ME. And like people will see and they'll just kinda go away. And I ask him, "What's up with you?" and he'll be like MAD, and he'll say, "you know i have no patience jen." The thing I'm trying to get at is he treats me like he owns me. Like because I knew him last year, he has the right to throw attitude and disrespect me.

 

And he butts in on my business, a lot.

 

The thing I didn't mention is that, he liked me when we met, and he didn't have the balls to tell me until 6 months later when he KNEW this guy was crushing on me. I let him down easy, but I basically said all we have is friendship. It seemed like he stayed the same person, I don't know.

 

This has been going on for the past month, but we're on winter break right now. I just want to know how to deal with this when I get back because now that I look back on everything, I was vunerable to everything. I didn't do * * * *. And I hate myself for that because why would I take that! I want to stand up for myself without seeming like I'm a * * * * *. I hate when guys do that. I'm generally a sweet person, I like to think so, and I always try to give back to people and treat them how I would want to be treated. So help me, please.

[BYOB]

It never happened to me and the way I feel like to suggest you is to suddenly ignore him since he sounds a lot more of a nuisance than a friend to you.

 

I've identifyed a part of his mentality being as: "If I did not get successful gently, maybe I will be with a strong minded attitude alias being rough, unpolite and unpatient."

 

Obviously then there are two escapes: satisfy him which risk to make him demand more or cut his satisfaction which will increase his tolerance to a delay of satisfaction. (By satisfaction I mean to get along with him or frequent him; have a good time with him. ) Although it might happen you had some good times with him, the way I understood, you never did afterward since last year.

 

I don't see anything else aside those two and although there is a lot to be said, there is not a lot to be done where the first is the thoughest part to work on.

 

Hope it helps

[d1whoutf]

Hi there!

 

WOW! That was indeed some post... and that friend of yours is also some friend...

 

Well, If I were to read what is behind your friend's behaviour, I would say that he somehow is screaming for attention; just like small children do, he seems to be doing all sorts of possibly annoying stuff so that you listen to him, or care about him.

 

Now, why might he be doing this? There's a chance, that he... (hmm, how should I say this?)... really likes you (again)? I mean, he might have some sort of crush on you (again) and he might not be that good at expressing himself. (I know this sort of things can happen; when I was your age, I was also sort of annoying with this girl I liked two years ago lol Besides, you say that he didn't have the guts to

 

Another possible answer for his "awkward" behaviour is that he might have some other problems, like at home, or at school. If you say that he hadn't acted like that before (just in the past month-s), then there must have been something that changed him.

 

What I would do is to talk to him and find out what exactly is going on; maybe you could even help him work his problem(s) out.

Arrange to see him some day in some peaceful place, or just any place where you could talk without being constantly interrupted.

You could begin telling him that you don't really like the way he's acted towards you the past weeks and that you'd like to know if there's something going on... etc.

 

Well, that was just a suggestion; it's obviously up to you if you do that or something different (or better), however, I do believe that someone must do something about this... that time two years ago, it took me quite some time to realize that what I was doing was stupid, and useless suffering and annoyance could have been spared.

 

Good Luck!

Keep us updated!

 

D1whoutf

 

P.S.: Screaming Infidelities