Not A Very Good Guy I Am. Ripping Me Up.

[Strictly4MyGrind]

This post will proberly 99% end up very long so bare with me if you can i need some advice.

 

Im a Very overprotective person and jealous guy. I dont want to be like this. Im just venting here so sorry for the long post.

 

I have been with my g/f for about roughly 14 months and theres just one things which consumes the whole realtionship at times, its always there and its something i cant make go away.

It recks everything is things are good itl make them bad. If we move forward itl make us move back. It comes in between us.

And the worst thing of all? Its me its a problem i have. Im too jealous, over protective whatever you want to call it.

And im fed up with things now im depresses with the way things are. Always crap between me and mf g/f and its my fault. Shes always hurt because of me and and i cant take that its my fault.

This girl is my everything basically.

Its like when i met her instead of just existing i starting living. There ware a hundred reasons why i should give up but shes the one reason i keep on going. Im a very controlling type of person.

I dont want them to but things always piss me off. Well its one thing it particular. One of her guy friends. She gets on with guys better then girls and the bigger ammount of her friends are guys.

Theres this one guy shes known for a few years longer then shes known me neway and i just seriously cant take it when nething about him comes up he really winds me up somehow.

Its childish i know but.

Well i think it all boils down to the fact that i think and not just me a number of people that well he got a thing for my g/f.

But her being the person she is sees no bad in anyone she cant see the little things i see. He really got a thing for her.

And i have a serious jealousy and over controlling problem.

I know its wrong and i shouldnt have done it but i told her i couldnt take her talking to this guy and she had to stop.

This is the cause of all our problems. She didnt do it.

And i try i really try to deal with it it was ok for a few weeks then something will happen ill hear him talking bout her to his friends i come into contact with him alot im surprised i havnt hurt him yet another problem of mine temper temper.

So i tell her again i cant deal with it all and i know im wrong too i cant control her life i have no right to do anything.

Anyway she does it not talking to him or whatever but shes so hurt and cold towards me i tell i let things cool down and she talks to him again, after i tell her i cant take her being like this so she is normal with me again.

I tell her ill get better wont control her tell her what to do.

And everytime i do i mess up and do something wrong. Something will anger me. He will. She will be really upset and hurt and just let down by me.

She doesnt deserve the pain i give her. So im wondering what should i do.

I want to leave her be i think shel be better off without me. Should i sacrfice my own happiness that i have with her because we do have have happy times to give her her freedom back. I dont want to let her down.

I couldnt bare to see her hurt.

I cant take her angry at me. Ill sit at home and thing of what a fool i am. To have someone so good and push them away so much.

And hurt them. What she wants from me is to not tell her what to do to not control her to not get angry when this guy comes up.

The first i can do i wont tell her what to do.

The second i cant. I get angry and cant help it i try not to show her but shel always know. She knows me to well. What to do?

I want to leave her in peace.

Iv said it to her but her reply was that she doesnt want me to go shel deal with it and that she Loves me.... I Love Her and cant cause her any more distress or pain. I cant keep saying sorry.

Its lost meaning to her when i say it. I want her to be happy.

 

Sorry my post is so very long this is my last resort i need some serious help everything is messed up. Im trying to do one last right thing. Im so depressed. I cant take her being Hurt. Help me anyone. If one person replies ill be greatful.

[Fancypanda101]

You dont have to give up on her just dont give up on yourself. Try not to be depressed and maybe make her happy by treating her with respect and ignore the other guy.

[Strictly4MyGrind]

Hey thanks for your reply but i just really cant ignore this other guy he pops u everywhere and at the end of the day they are good friends. And after everything i think shes gave up on me now so.

[Strictly4MyGrind]

Didnt expect anyone to reply no one ever does to my post for some reason. oh wel.

[ShySoul]

Hey. I'll respond to your post. Would have sooner but I've been busy and didn't catch it until now. For the future though, if no one seems to respond try making posts shorter and use paragraphs. People tend to skip over long posts that are harder to read.

 

First thing is to not beat yourself up over this. It's just going to make you feel worse about yourself and make things worse in the relationship. You are probably getting so down on yourself that its making you more insecure. It's like, if you are so bad then you expect her to not stay with you and you think she'll go with another guy, even if she has no interest in them. Realize this part of you isn't healthy, but don't be so down on yourself that you become obessed with it and blame yourself for everything. Be fair and reasonable. And see that you have good traits to, triats that she likes and makes the relationship better.

 

You have to realize that you can't tell her who she can be friends with. Even if the guy does like her, as long as he's not acting upon it then you shouldn't be upset. Now if he is hitting on her all the time, you have reason to be angry. But in telling her not to talk to him, you are giving her an order, an ultimatum. And people tend to do the opposite when you are like that. They get defensive and wonder why you feel you can tell her what to do.

 

I think you first need to work on your own self confidence. Focus on your good qualities, the things that she loves about you. See that she is with you for a reason, and that she loves you. When you get angry like you do, try to stay calm and talk about it with her. Get to why you feel this way. Don't be so upset that you do get that angry, think about how you are going to respond to it. Are you going to run away from the issues and her? Cause if you do it will probably reappear in future relationships. Are you going to get mad at her and issue demands? Cause she is just going to be hurt more by it. Or are you going to try to work with her and why you feel this way?

[Strictly4MyGrind]

I jst read your reply um forgot about this didnt thing any body would reply. But thankyou very much. And thanks you for your advice. helped alot. Im going to try to work with her and make things better find out why i feel this way. i dont want to push her away any further then i already have. Thankyou again.