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TOO shy :(


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Im 16, and the problem is that when I arrange to go on a date with someone (I know im only 16 but they are dates to the cinemas etc) I get really scared then make an excuse up not to go. ](*,) I usually feel sick and have stomache ache before the date which makes me then not want to go because I worry. I have no idea why or what really about. I dont know how to overcome this! Its just EVERY date (even if I like the person) i cant bring myself to go because im too scared and worried! Has anyone else ever had this problem? If so and you have overcome it, help me too aswell!!! Thankies xxxxxxxxxxx

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It sounds like you have a kind of social phobia, perhaps?


I went through a similar thing...not to dates, but going out to parties and stuff...I would make plans and then panic, and last minute make up an excuse not to go. Google "social phobia" and see if the symptoms match

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This anxiety is far more common than you might think. Every teenager at some point will be nervous when doing something new - whether it be going on a date, having sex, whatever. The important thing to remember is that if they're going on a date with you in the first place, they probably really like you and are just as nervous as you.


There's nothing wrong with being anxious..

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We all go through this. I definitely had this phobia as a teenager.


For example, if I was getting ready for a party. All these worries and what-ifs would always come into my mind and I would be like, "well, maybe I shouldn't go..." But I've learned that I just have to go for everything because honestly, what is the worse thing that could happen? It also feels really good and boosts your confidence to say, "hey, i've done that!" or "yeah I went to that party" My counselor always said there were 2 kinds of people in high school, the people who participated, and the people just kinda watched. Be one of those people who participate, you'll be so glad in the end.

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I just think im going to make myself look stupid or say something wrong which i usually do n thats part of what worries me!

Forget all your worries and just do it. You'll feel good at the end. Just don't think of what might go wrong. Think positive. Relax and take it easy.

I also have to say that we are our toughest critics. We may think we have done or said something stupid, but the people who we are with couldn't care less or might not even notice... It's a fact.

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