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On New Years day at about 1:30am I received a call form my ex, this was the first contact in about 4 1/2 months, we oficially broke up last April. She called up first asking if I knew who it was, I told her I did, then she said I probbably would not have answered if she had called from her phone, I told her that I would have answered anyways... She asked what I did for New years eve and what I was doing for the rest of the night... I told her we had our party and were having an afterparty at my house... We wished each other a happy new year and hung up...


The break up tore me up pretty good, I don't want to sink back into that again. In your opinions what is she doing / looking for?


This kills me, I think I know what is going on at one point, then never really know, her best friend contacted me about 1 month ago just kinda "checking in". I am not into playing games, we split up on "taking a break" terms... I was not thrilled about this but accepted it as necessary, at that point in the relationship we were either looking at breaking up or getting married, I don't think either of us was ready to get married. So in the end I left the ball in her court, when we split I told her that I still loved her and, while it may kill me to let her go I would rather see her happy and not wonder "what if"...


I would be happy to be back together with her, but I don't want to play games, I am just starting a new relationship with a really fun girl, i don't dee it as serious but I don't want to throw it away on a whim just because my ex is playing games, that is not fair to anyone...

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Don't do anything rash. She could just be calling in to check in and say hi. It doesn't necessarily mean she's playing games...she may just see it as being friendly. But with the history, you're probably going to analyze it ...or over analyze it.

Until she comes out and says something or shows more initiative, don't think about her. Enjoy your current relationship.

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And it will mess you up. I had it happen to me while I was dating another girl, as soon as I received the call from my ex, my stomach turned and I got those butterflies. I stopped seeing the other girl simply because it wasn't fair that we be dating while I had feelings for another woman. Sometimes it's just better to be alone for awhile.

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I have been alone, it is not fair to me either to sit around pining away my life, i need to move on and get on with things. The easiest wat to get over an ex is the next one if it works...


I will always have feelings for my ex, that I cannot change, but I cannot let that destroy any potential future happiness. Life goes on. now I just have to believe that...

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Okay -- any calls at 1 a.m. or after, especially on holidays where drinking/partying is involved, are booty calls. That's all, nothing more. Don't read into it. You didn't jump at the chance, obviously, and she took that as you were not interested.


If you have a new relationship, focus on that and have fun. If she wants to rekindle your relationship she should call you at a decent hour. Show some respect to yourself and demand that kind of respect from her.


You're not ready for marriage as you said so seem to have a good idea of what you want out of life. You have no idea how much you will change as a person in your 20's. The thing I see so many people doing is creating this timeline that says you have to be married by 27 or 28 or whatever, a good carreer by another age and kids by 30 or your life is over and you'll just be one of those old people scamming on the 20 somethings looking for love. Enjoy your age, your freedom, the mistakes you make in relationships and hold on to your standards. Don't just settle for anyone just because they want to get married or get back together. There is someone out there just for you -- made for you -- wait for that person. Good luck!

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