givin up on life and love

[strndedbyluv]

well, its come to the point, that i cant take it anymore. I put all of my love trust, hope and faith into a man that i have loved since i was 16 years old, and known since i was 10...

he is a nobody, he has nothing and is nothing, he quit school in 8th grade, he doesnt have a job, and hasnt aspired to be anything or do anything until we got back together. we were gonna get married, but it never happened.

he moved out and cut off any communication with me.

i feel like * * * *, i just want to die, just go to sleep and never wake up.

i put everything into him. I gave him my all, he knows how much i love him, i told him when we were together that he could have everything i had, he had me completely...and he just threw me away, i mean seriously, he was my last hope...I gave this man my all...he is nothing and nobody, and i am not even good enuff for him, my life isnt even good enuff for him to care about.

i just give up...

[chai714]

Stranded,

 

Sorry to hear about this situation.

 

I understand how you can feel that way. Giving 110% to a relationship is a very natural thing to do.

 

Your life is good enough for him or any other man out there. When someone we love rejects us, it often makes us feel not worthy. What it does, is it injures our self-esteem. The good news is that over a period of time, you will get your self-esteem back if you take the proper steps to heal up. Even though your life might seem like a mess right now, things will be ok. I felt like you did just over a year ago. So, take time to go through all your emotions. It might help to exercise some of those feeilngs out or even keep a journal - it helped me when I was down.

 

Hang in there.

[switchitup]

I'm sorry to hear of what you are going through. Maybe he left because he has to sort stuff out for himself. As you said he had no one and nothing. I don't understand why you had to keep mentioning that in your post, maybe its something that you displayed in your relationship (the way you feel about him, being a no body). Maybe he didn't want you to give him everything.. it sounds like maybe he is just trying to figure things out for himself. But anyway, I do hope you can bounce back. You have to be strong for yourself. Good luck.

[Dako]

Strnded,

 

Please hang around here and feel free to express yourself. You'll get through this much easier with help.

I stumbled accross this forum when I was in deep pain and it helped me cope with the worst experience of my life.

You're going through something like an illness that has a recovery. take baby steps when you can, eat ice cream and cry when you can.

Although it won't happen overnight, you can do this.

[healinginnyc81]

"eat ice cream and cry when you can"

 

Strnded, That is great advice by Dako. When I first started going through this 3 weeks ago, I thought I was being a loser for crying and pampering myself. But the advice from people on this forum was that I needed to take care of myself and feel better before I can move on with my life. It was the best advice I could have gotten. For the first week, I didn't do much but take care of myself as if I was sick (which I guess I was).

After that week, I felt a little bit better and I tried doing other things to feel better like working out, hanging with friends, etc. Just don't force yourself to do things you don't really want.

 

This really helped me and it will help you too. I hope you start to feel better.

[strndedbyluv]

I'm sorry to hear of what you are going through. Maybe he left because he has to sort stuff out for himself. As you said he had no one and nothing. I don't understand why you had to keep mentioning that in your post, maybe its something that you displayed in your relationship (the way you feel about him, being a no body). Maybe he didn't want you to give him everything.. it sounds like maybe he is just trying to figure things out for himself. But anyway, I do hope you can bounce back. You have to be strong for yourself. Good luck.

 

 

i never would have said that to him, to me he was everything, my life. Wonderfully intelligent a genius at computers...and just in my soul...

but one time we had an argument becuase he was really depressed, i asked him why he was so depressed, and he started yellling at me that he was nothing and had nothing..., that is when i gave him everything and told him how great he was and how he had everything...now i realize, how right he was.

[maybe]

wow...i knew i had been here before, but i could not think of my user name, and in the self injury forum, on a sticky i saw my old user name. So i am Strndedbyluv.

Now Maybe. Sorry to have registered twice. But i wanted to get back to this community.

I hope to be able to stick around this time.

 

UPDATE:

Will has moved back in and we still have our problems,he is going to school to get his degree and suppose to be getting a part time job. He tells me he loves me, and usually i can really feel it. But yesterday he really said something that i have been worrying about. (starting a new thread on that topic)

Here lately we have argued alot, i have started back cutting, and try to hide it from him, but i think he knows. We are just trying to be cool with each ohter. I love him so much. it is so nice to have him here,even if we argue sometimes.

btw. i love this site, everyone seems so caring.