What do I do now?

[Mattie]

 

Check the above thread for more background.

 

Basically, I've totally fallen for the wrong girl. She likes me, but she's dealing with sexuality issues at the moment and the thing I should do is walk away, but I can't. Nor can she.

 

We spoke on MSN last night and she asked me if I want her to stop speaking to me. I was a bit stand off-ish and said that I didn't really know and it was up to her. She said that she couldn't stop speaking to me.

 

Anyway, after a while, we starting speaking like we always do. We start flirting and complimenting each other. It's still all very couple-y. I know she likes me, she just doesn't want to get too involved and possibly end up hurting me.

 

But, as I said, we both like each other, it's just the wrong time.

 

I am going to go for the old NC, but it's a very weird situation.

[novaseeker]

If she is as unsure of her sexuality as you say she is, I would think the most protective thing you could do at this point would be to distance yourself from her for a bit. It's painful to do that, but it would be worse in terms of pain to get strung along and then 6-12 months from now she finally decides that she is lesbian in orientation after all. If you stay in close semi-couple-like contact over that period, it will be harder on you because you will essentially be in the same confused ("are we a couple or not?") phase you are in now, but for a prolonged period of time.

[SLMitchell918]

Maybe NC would be the best for awhile. It sounds like she is confused but you know what you want. Backing away is the best for you. All the flirting and complimenting is only making you closer to her. Give her some time to discover what she wants, but just remember that you can't put your life on hold because after waiting for a few months she can and may decide that she wants to be with other women and you deserve better. Good luck.