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To everybody hurting! read!

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I know alot of you are going through some tuff times. I am going through the worst time of my life! Ive almost died twice today from suicide.


Some know my situation. I was in love with my ex, more than anything that exsists. I worshiped her, even though she walked all over me, i would cut my arm off for her. She broke up with me on christmas, after a very very expensive necklace. After mixed signals, she got a new "friend". She was on a date with him, when she broke up with me. After seeing her and falling in love all over again, she ignores everything i text her. After a million dollars worth of text messages, she said dude just stop. I was destroyed, horribly. I thought for sure i was gonna pull the trigger. Ive been crying like a baby for the past week, and sitting in my room thinking about killing myself. Most of all, ive been praying to god for help.


I havent gone to church for years and years. My manager at work, who i look up to, talked to me about god. My manager is one of the coolest cats around. He has the perfect life, and wife. He told me that god will take care of the rest, just know that he has you on the right path, no matter what you do. Well ive been praying at the top of my lungs for the past 2 days, and ive received nothing.


Ive been praying god will help me through this. And about an hour ago, he showed himself. At my almost last minutes, i prayed, and broke down and called my ex. She answered and hung up right away, then texted, dude, stop. I then became numb and in shock. I didnt wanna move a muscle. I then realised god has taken over. This feeling is not going away! I am jumping around my house like a kid! I am so happy! I realised I am a creation of god, why should i be destroyed by some scandolous girl. With her, I was drinking, doing drugs and all sorts of stuff, and still wasnt as happy as i am right this moment! I cant explain it! I feel peace, and i feel sorry for my ex, because for some reason, i feel amazing right now.

I ran around the neighborhood in freezing weather i was so happy! IM NOT SLEEPING TONIGHT!


I used to hate god, and everything that came with religeoun. But only because i saw religeous people as lame retards. Its all about a relationship with him, and how you see it, not how other people are. I really do think he gave me a HUGE break in this devistating period, and showed me what life is like without my stupid ex. I cant wait to get over her people! and no im not on drugs of any kind. I hope you all will read this, and take it how you want, but this is my story on how somebody literally at rock bottom, came up. I thank god for this, and seriously this is not my brain playing tricks, i feel better than i have ever felt im my life~! and ive done some crazy drugs haha.


So to everybody out there, I am with you, and i got the strength to look to other options, than my ex. And boy am i glad i did. No god cannot bring them back, but he can help YOU and only yourself. Im not a religious nut, i was actually a gang member, drug dealer/swinger way back in the day. Now im 21, in the prime of my life. Dont let a stupid ex, that doesnt respect you, love you or even like you, take over your life! TRUST ME IM WORKING ON IT TOO! It will get easy, i was just reminded on how it feels to have that void filled. Wow im gonna go for another jog at around 2am. haha then maybe work on my car for a few hours, then its MOViE TIME! haha this is actually fun! love you all and good luck, we come out the strongest.

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think about it this way, the ex knows your every move. They know you will be wanting to get back, call or text. Truth is they really arent thinking about you at all. If they were, then why did they leave? They still know they have total control of the situation. I left you, so you cant say nothin! good! i dont need to say anything, my halo of blue light around my ego will say somthing tho! and BAM they are like whoa, didnt see that. They think that you will always remember them. They know they recovered before you even got this way. They have a running start, so what do we do?


I was listening to some dane cook, laughing my * * * off, and then realised, hey thats a cool word, "phantom". I will become a phantom, and so will she. I dont know my ex's name anymore, i dont know her number, nothin. To me she is a big ball of pain stored inside me. And like fight club, i need to grab ahold of it. brad pitt my idol said "only once we hit rock bottom, can we build up"


He is so right! i hit rock bottom and cried for god! well somehow i feel great right now! i know i didnt take any drugs so what gives? how come i dont remember where my phone is? no joke, i forgot her number, so oh well. Im crying over a loss of somebody, but who is that somebody? who cares, just cry because there is a huge void in your system right now, and they will NOT be filling it.


Here is the truth that most people dont know. The SECOND they break up with you, there is a void in your soul. No matter what, they will never be able to fill that void again. That is solid truth. Only you can fill it. What is the void going to be filled with? you need to figure out that on your own. They changed big time, so there for, a huge piece is missing from you. That piece was how they were when you feel in love "good times". Now that piece changed. So it will not fit like a puzzle, you have to heal it, and after you healed, you can give out another piece of your puzzle.


God i thought i was gonna die earlier, i was possesed as everybody saw. I was gonna die if i didnt have her. Now, i have gone more than 15 minutes without a ciggeret, I HAVENT CRIED YET!


This is my advice....ask god for help and guidence, and if you know for a FACT that you and your ex will work out forever, then do NC. Otherwise fu** that sh*t UP! haha im so glad i did. I texted and texted till she hated me, haha so long sucka. I havent heard from her in 2 days, so i texted, well if she didnt respond, then BOOYAH baby! dont need that in my life. Truth is, if they wont talk to you, then they wont have you.


You actually are better off then they are right about now. Its like a car going in for a recall, they are the ones who skipped out, we get to get new parts baby!

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I am going to read this thread every single day for 6 months, until that person i dated for a year, cant remember her name, is 100% out of my head. And i will be happy! I have printed out posters for myself as well, going to post them all around my room, car everywhere stating why im soooooo soo much better of, and what will happen if i DARE try to call the loser.

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I texted her and said "baby! thank you for breaking up with me! i almost killed myself and because of that, i found god! im so happy right now!" haha eat that! i really feel great right now! i dont even care about her at all. I think once i hit my true rock bottom, there was no where else to go, but up! and I encourage everybody to force themselves there. Why fight when you can destroy your enemy! And the enemy is your ex! Haha i dont care what she thinks! I could text her what ever right now, i destroyed it, I DID! so only thing i can do now, is build.

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I'm glad you pulled yourself up and found God. We often mock and loathe the things that we don't understand or are afraid of. God will never give us more than we can handle and what you feel in his absense is his presense. You will have down minutes and question God's lack of action from time to time but it is his restraint that makes him so great. He makes us stronger by making us see the light. There is a great poem that I will put here for you, it's gotten myself and millions through the most difficult of times.



One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.

Many scenes from my life flashed accross the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.

Sometimes there were two sets of footprints.

Other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life

When I was suffering from anguish, sorrow, or defeat,

I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord, "You promised me, Lord,

That if I followed you, you would walk with me always.

But I noticed that during the most trying periods of my life

There have only been one set of prints in the sand.

Why, When I have needed you most, you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,

"The times when you have seen only one set of footprints

Is when I carried you."

By Mary Stevenson


Go NC with your ex, there is no need to update her as far as how you are doing. By not contacting her you are showing her, which in it self is more powerful than words.


Good Luck.

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I love the "Footprints in the Sand" and always have, but you just reminded me again. I do believe that God has a plan but it is not necessarily MY plan. Big Syke, you are fortunate to realize that 1. There is a God and 2. You believe. It doesn't always have to do with religion. You were right when you said it is about you and your life. God will do for you what you cannot do for yourself. We all have to willing participants in this thing called life. It IS worth living!!!!!!!!!!

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I am not a religious person and believe that healing begins in every person's own head. No one can do it for you, you have to take steps on your own, or with the help of counselling family and friends.


Don't get me wrong, if faith is what helps you through - great. But take it from me, there is no quick fix to heal grief and loss. Healing is a slow process that takes time. In the first few months after a break-up sometimes you will feel on top of the world, other days you hit rock bottom, but, the good thing is that these highs and lows really do lessen with time.


One thing I have to that I have learnt from the past is that being resentful to the person who left you or running after them does not help the healing process quicken. And they also begin to resent you, which makes it worse. If it was a bitter break up just go the no contact until you feel better to cope with things. It's the contact that holds us back - trully.


I felt ok and almost stopped thinking about my ex, then contacted him and the whole cycle started over, because I lost my power in the situation. I have been so angry at exes in the past, but I am not letting that happen now. yes, i agree it is 'their loss' but I don't need to try and make them feel bad. Whats the point? It doesn't help anyone, seriously. No contact is hard but it allows you get on with things a lot faster. Make sure before you do it, you tell them why. A clear, concise email with all your feelings and reasons written down (in a non-blaming way) is better than getting upset and emotional on the phone or in person. No 'you did this, you did that," just "i feel...." or "it hurt me when..." Self respect is a powerful thing, it gives you strength.


Just prepare for the lows, they do come, it's just part of the grieving process but you WILL be ok.

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hmmm, your right, but on the contrary, i havent been crying since. in fact, she came back today.


After that night i found god, i was on top of the world, which isnt because of god, i just found that I am not alone and god can ease the pain, while also showing me that there are greater things than my ex. I almost think that he destroyed my relationship with my ex for a reason, and i actually see that and am so greatful. He does look out for us, and knows that there is somebody better, even tho were blinded by love, and lust. I was just paranoid she would be having sex with lots of other guys, but i put it in gods hands, well what do ya know, she came back saying she stopped talking to that guy.


She called me about 62 times today and i didnt answer, we talked on the phone last night aswell. I know she is scandolous and not the one for me, so its a little easier for me to move on now. Everything has to be worked out through your head, and hitting rock bottom is the only way to recover, so i made my life a living hell in order to recover.

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I believe in God and until now in everything I needed help and support with, praying to God had put peace inside me; I had always thought there was a bigger picture I wasn't able to see and that everything happened for a reason; God had something better in store for me.


Not this time. It is probably the case again, but praying to God does not ease my pain one bit. It does not help anything. What to do now?

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