I can't be the only one who is going through this...

[Rivpt]

How exactly are we supposed to get to the point where we do not compare every new person we meet to our ex? And should i be worried that i just am not attracted to many girls b/c i was/is SO attracted to my ex?

 

I feel like i am setting myself up to miss out on new opportunities to meet people but i cannot get over the roadblock of comparing every girl i meet/see/talk to with my ex gf.

[Tigris]

It takes time to get out of the habit of comparing people with your ex.

 

You must start dating other girls, this will help you to get past this stage in your life.

 

Good luck and take care.

[lewisbn11]

i feel the same. i could not draw a girl on paper more beautiful then the girl who has just told me she doesn't want it anymore.

[darkblue]

The fact that things did not work out with your ex just proves that she was not right for you, and you can meet someone who is.

 

Take time to do your own healing and finding your own happiness before attempting to find someone to share that with.

[Mattie]

The only reason why it's happening is because you're not over your ex yet.

 

If you are comparing every person you meet to your ex, it's not fair on that person and you should just take some time out for yourself and in time, you'll meet new people and your ex won't even enter your head.

 

When I split up with my ex in the summer, I was exactly the same. I didn't want anybody else and I couldn't imagine myself being with anybody else. But, I got over it and met a beautiful girl. She's split up with me (see the dating forum) and now I'm in the same situation again. My point is, it passes.

 

It's hard now, but it will get easier.

[novaseeker]

I agree with Mattie. Once you are over her, you will not have the same urge to compare every new prospect with her. Give yourself the time to get over her before jumping into a new relationship, and you should be fine.

[Relationship Coach]

They really don't compare when you think about it. Your ex no longer wants to be with you and the new person does, what could be more important for you right now?

[Rivpt]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts, I know that time is what i need and the longer i am not in contact with my ex the easier it will be to move on. i think i was just nervous b/c it had been so long and i was still feeling the same way. this is the first time i really had to get over someone that i was head over heels in love with for a few years.

[skyblue1]

I don't think your over your ex yet. Maybe you need some more time to heal. When i broke up with my ex 3 1/2 years ago i always used to compare other men with him. But now i don't even think about him. Good luck

[Rivpt]

well that's good to know...i think part of the problem is that although i've let my situation drag on a lot longer than i should have...she hasn't done anything to make me mad at her or think negative thoughts, and sometimes i think i need that in order to get over it.

[Cherokeelion]

Give yourself time... to heal. It happens. Breathe and look around, step outside... stay busy. Don't focus on jumping into something new until you can look at that person for who they are. If a reconciliation with your ex is not possible, don't stop and wallow in the pain. It's a very large world... Carpe Diem, live your life... love will find a way back, it's human nature.