whats the best thing to do? cannot think straight.

[jinxz]

in a nutshell, my ex gf broke up with me and nov. but weve still been pretty close. she wants a little space and to just be friends and she doenst want a boyfriend at all right now. im attempting to hold myself together and try to to push her away becasue i very much so want to be with her. Now yesterday she asked me to dinner today becasue we havnt seen each other in a while. i was also at the same party as her last night, things went well. but when i got home at about 1:30am i had called her cell because i couldnt help it since i had been drinking. i called twice in a row just in case she might pick up ( i know thats a big no no) , anywyas i had left a message like "i just wanted to say happy new year and it was good to see you... blah blah" just something friendly to start the new year. Now i have trouble sleepin in late because i wake up and instantly start thinking about the 'what ifs?' and i wanted to call her to figure things out about dinner. i called her at 11am thinking shed answer but she didnt, and i didnt leave a message. now my heart and head are at a war with each other what to do because, i dont know if shes pissed that i called her, so im hoping that shell call back, but i also want to try to call her again to get a hold of her, i just cant think straight and i feel like im going nuts dealing with all this stress and emotions. i want to make the right choices and i dont want to push her away, but at the same time i dont want to sacrifice my sanity. thanks for reading.

[Boomer]

Hey,

I have been in your situation. As hard as it sounds you should start NC. NC will help you to heal and move on. Why do you want to be her friend but you want more from her? Would you like listening about her dating Steve or Joe in short run. Did she give a reason why she broke up with you? So I suggest start NC and see where it takes you. Happy new year and wish you all the best!

[jinxz]

it wasnt a bad breakup at all, all the feelings are still there (from both of us) its just she wants to be single and not have a boyfriend but in all honesty she still feels the same about me. whenever i see her i can just tell by her reactions and looks that im still in her heart. and what i want to do is not ruin that, i want to make the right choices so that maybe i can have a second chance because this girl is truly amazing by anyones standards, and i really dont want to mess it up.

[Bethany]

You've done your bit, now it's up to her. Don't contact her again or you will feel like you're just running in circles, kicking yourself up the backside every time you do contact her, then regretting it. A vicious circle you can do without.

[Boomer]

I do not understand why she just wants to be single and not have a boyfriend right now. If girl wants to be with you she will not want to be single - this ia fact. So something is suspicious for me. There is no one proven right way. The best is leave her alone and do not contact. Doing nothing is better than soing anything in this case. Leave her alone and give her space. If you continue calling and bugging her you will push her away further.

[brando]

Hey Jinxz Happy New Year.

 

I agree with the others, if she is calling u too hang out u may answer and sometimes u ma not want to. It is a very delicate sitution you are in. You want more from her right now then she has to offer you, so your heart will ache over this. The best thing to do is to give her the space she wants, and give your self spcae from her as well. Do the things u havent done yet, whatever it may be or however insignificant they may seem to you.

 

It is a good time to get to know yourself again, and reevaluate your life, wants desires etc... She will respect you more as a person if u can grant her the space she requests. Also dont be a doormat for her when she calls and wants to see you. You can't always be available to her, this is nt to win her back, this part is about living your life for you.

 

It is painful i know, but that pain is a srong sign of growth.

 

be well, and remember, it doesnt matter what you want from her right now, it is what she wants.

 

 

brando

[jinxz]

the hardest part about being in these situations is not necessarily knowing WHAT to do, but its following through with them, and resisting your urges, and listening to you head rather then your heart. sometimes your heart just takes over and you have no control. you pick up the phone and dial because you just want to talk to her, and at the same time you heads going "what the f*** are you doing? your just going to make it worse" but your heart is very powerful. right now im trying to get on track and start listening to my head rather then my heart, and also trying to recover as best i can from past mistakes, and so far so good. so wish me luck, and if you see my head roll accross the floor, please by all means put it back on my shoulders

[Boomer]

one suggestion: delete her phone number frem your cell so you cannnot dial and do not memorize it !

[lewisbn11]

top tip boomer