Feeling Very Depressed This New Year's Eve.

[LackofColor]

As I sit here alone in my apartment, watching * * * * Clark's Rockin' New Year's Eve, there's this feeling inside of me that really hates the night right now.

 

Last year at this time, I was sitting on top of the roof with my boyfriend with a miniature camera counting down to 2005. I was in love and on New Year's we made love on his balcony. It was amazing. In late November, I broke it off with him because he was becoming abusive. I did something about it before it got too bad, but for nights I cried myself to sleep because he's the only one I've ever loved.

 

I just sit here and I tried turning off the TV and I tried taking a shower or crying it off, but I can't help but just replay last year. I'm still so hurt by the breakup, and I'm still so in love. I went out with my friends earlier, and I couldn't have fun. I forced myself to, but I just have this heavy feeling. How do I cope right now? I want to tell myself that it's just any other ordinary night, but I can't help crying and thinking about him. Depressed.

[Dregnought]

You miss the old times. The only way your gonna get over is it for time to heal it. Get busy, but Christmas and New Years tend to be when pwople get worse off. I admire the fact that you were strong enough to break it up - though i bet you didnt want to. Take pleasure that with time, he will only become a distant memory. You will find another person, but better then him. Dont lose hope of that.

 

Good Luck.

[parkersoups]

Well friends, 2005 has passed and now is the hour for each person to reflect on the past year and attempt to remedy the mistakes made in 2005. What a crock of * * * * that sentence was, eh? Let us break down that asinine statement. I FEEL that we make choice, good or bad, based on the situation that we are in at a specific time. Now, do not try to discuss the philosophy behind consequentialism and whatnot.

 

Moving on....I vow to not make any new resolutions, instead, I vow to myself to take a breath and not make hasty decisions or react in a way that might lead to a hurtful comment or feeling. I wonder if that sentence will make sense if I read it a few more times. Regardless, since irregardless is not a word, I will make every effort to stand by the former sentence written. Oh, my GF broke up with me tonight. I am moving about an hour north of the TC's and in her words, "You have a new start." Not sure how that does not include her, but I wonder how this will affect my resolution?

 

I sat on my couch and flipped b/w * * * * Clark and Regis. I teared up at midnight since me and Kate, my now ex, had planned a nice dinner and "us" time this New Years Eve. Amazing how 7+ months can fly by and when it is over one is thankful that a person like Kate entered his life. Happy New Year all: hurting, lonley, afraid, or any other term applied to singlehood....we all are in the same boat, but time is a wonderful friend.

[lovecrazy]

I am sorry that you are hurting right now dear! But you also need to think about that you are a very strong women, to have gotten out of the abusive relationship before it got really bad. most people in abusive relationships dont have the strength to end them.

 

You need to be thinking you are a very smart girl who loves her self enough to stand up and say I will not be abused. You ma'am have won the respect of alot of people! You just need time to heal Please keep us posted on how you are doing!

 

Again I am sorry that you are in pain.

[ocrob]

Beachdude, you have my deepest sympathies. I am so sorry for your loss. Lackofcolor, it sounds like you did the right thing and just be strong sweetie. It is ten minutes to New Years and I left the bar that I was at. I just did not want to be around people right now. It would be nice to have my ex to kiss at midnight, but she is gone and I accept that. I am actually missing the girl that I have been on one date with. She is in NJ and I miss her. I decided to go home so I would not do anything stupid. Juast hang in there. Just like most on here, I have been in pain for quite sometime. I am not into New Year's resolutions, but do hope for a more productive year. You will meet an amazing man and most of us will feel better.

[newts]

The best thing about new year's is it's afresh start, you have a hole new year to start a fresh. Keep positive, you will have another elationship were you will think back on this time and say, oh my god, this is so much better, the ex who?

 

Abuse is not a pretty thing and you were so strong to get out. You will find somebody who loves you without the abuse.

 

Any break up is hard, it's just getting on with it and trying to forget the old time, the memories. Time will heal all.

[Relationship Coach]

I just sit here and I tried turning off the TV and I tried taking a shower or crying it off, but I can't help but just replay last year.

 

You are replaying the wrong thing in your head.

 

In late November, I broke it off with him because he was becoming abusive. I did something about it before it got too bad

 

This is a pain/pleasure issue. You are selectively remembering the good times and that is natural. It's easy to get caught up in a sentimental moment, especially at this time of year. What you need to remind yourself despite the fact that this guy was your first love, is how you were driven to end it with him out of fear. Love is not about fear, and you have shown great strength in walking away and staying away. Many women in your position end up going back and living a life filled with abuse. Today is a happy day, don't allow him to still hurt your heart. Remember him for what he is, not for what he was.

[LackofColor]

Thank you all for your replies.

 

I'm so ready to just move on and let that memory fade.

[Lady Bugg]

For what it's worth....the thing that depressed ME most about watching * * * * Clark...was seeing the shape he was in . Here's a guy who had a stroke, and is happy to just be taking again.and alive to SEE the new year...and we are all harping on OUR problems.

 

Puts things in perspective...