gf is behaving very strangly

[ddriver7]

I've been with my girlfriend for 13 months. We fell in love right away and we had such a great start to our relationship. Its been mostly great in my opinion. This sounds dumb, but we were like out of a movie or something...so in love. Breaking up was never even thinkable because we wanted to be together forever and get married. We still feel that way, only we started fighting constantly a few months ago.

 

Long story short, i have some anger problems and she doesn't open up about anything anymore. Its weird because she used to be the one who begged me to talk and open up. Now its the other way around, and I'M begging her to open up about how she feels.

 

We would fight, say we would stop and say we need to do this and that, but then we didn't do any of it and we'd fight again. Honestly its her fault because i always beg her to do the things we need to do to get better, like just getting together and talking. But it kept going on like that. Then a few nights ago, the unthinkable happened. She broke up with me out of nowhere. We had a little fight, but it wasn't even about us. I was mad at my parents and i sounded mad, so she took it personally. We made up. Then she just wanted to break up with me. It was really dramatic and drawn out. In the end, I basically kept her from leaving my house, and we decided to not break up and to just take a break. The next day we talked about everything and it all seemed great. We hung out that night and it was awesome. She thanked me for not letting her break up with me, and its like we had a new appreciation for our love and each other. She basically said we aren't on a break too.

 

That was the main part of the story. I'm posting because ever since before then up to today, she's been behaving so hostile towards me. She was so nice that night we hung out, then last night she got mad at me because i was curious about something so i asked her. We made up and we were fine. Now today she FREAKED out when i talked to her. I've been feeling like we haven't been talking about our relationship, which is what we need to do to help get better. So i simply told her "i just feel like we haven't been talking" and she flipped out worse than i've ever seen her. She said I'm selfish and thoughtless for caring about that when she has family and friends in town for the holidays. I was really scared and i sounded sad. Then she said i'm a baby and she needed to go. She was yelling at me and i did nothing to deserve it. She's getting mad at the drop of a hat and treating me like crap. She used to be so awesome. Now its like i don't know who this girl is when she gets hostile.

 

She is normally such a nice girl and its usually me who's the one doing this kind of thing. But i honestly don't think i did anything. All i can think of is that she's been worried about a personal problem, but thats all. I just don't get it. Its just really strange that she's being like this after she thanked me for keeping us together and all of that.

 

Anyway, i mainly just wanted to vent. I hope i'm not the only one who thinks she's wrong here. Thanks for reading or replying.

[Shadows Light]

In the past..you said you had the anger issues. She's wanted to talk and you'd clam up or be angry.

 

I know from "MY" situation. Dealing with a long term relationship. I'd learned to avoid.. ANGRY CONFRONTATIONS. I'd learned to keep my mouth shut and clam up.. because I was "Afraid" of him. His anger would manifest itself into the physical. Breaking things. Physically retraining me. Driving the car like a homicidal maniac. And I'd learned to AVOID direct confrontations and NOT feed the fire.

 

Aye... later, I'd grown angry myself because, I'd kept things under cover for too long. Way longer than your mere 13 months.

 

The HOLIDAYS.. can be a strain. A very stressful time of year for all, when we set our expectaions so high...and then, they arn't met. And we try to minimize on confrontations..and not rock the boat.

 

I know you weren't ANGRY with her, but angry at something that happened in your family. And you said... it was only a tiny blow up. But sosmetimes... a tiny blow up is all that is needed to put someone over the edge.

 

YOu do need to talk to each other. About the anger and hostilities. And find whats going on. Wait until after the holidays... and then maybe broach the subject in a NON-confrontational manner.

 

If in the past you have had ANGER issues..then you need to own up to it. And take responsibility. Tell her that you realize that you have these episodes. and look into ANGER MANAGEMENT type books to help you understand what is happening. And tell her you are truly sorry for how she felt during these times... because now the shoe is on the other foot and you don't like the way it feels.

 

Sit down and talk about it after the stirl of the holidays is over. I"m sure you'll both be in a better frame of mind to discuss things.