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I don't want him at my house on NYE!!!

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Hi Guy’s,


I’ve got an issue you that I’m hoping that you can help me with. It’s a bit long, but it covers everything.


I have an “acquaintance” of mine; lets call him David, who is supposed to be coming to my house on NYE.


I have known David for about a 1.5 years and I met him through my flatmate. They are both from the same town overseas.


Anyway, I have started to dislike David. In fact, I have never really liked him, but I have noticed things that I do not like about him over a certain period of time, which I will list below.

  • When he split up with his live in girlfriend, he stayed at our place (I share a house with 3 people) for about 3 weeks until he could find somewhere to live. During this time, my flatmate had to clear up after him and wash his dirty dishes. He didn’t contribute as a guest. I only found this out after he left.
  • When we used to go out, he was known for being a tight a**, and never buying drinks, but would always be the first to tell you what he wanted when you asked anyone for a drink
  • I lent him a book (about 3 months after I met him) and I said that I needed that book by the end of the month. I had to basically pester him to get the book back. This took about 2 months
  • He has made overtly racists comments on a couple occasions, which I had to call him out on once.

About 3 weeks ago, we had a party at our house. I put one of my new CD’s in his CD mixer and he was mixing with it. This was right at the end of the party, where there were only about 7 of us left. Please note that he was the only one DJ’ing at this point. Some 30 mins later, he was leaving and I remember him saying “bye”. I remembered that he still had my CD, as I had only bought it 2 weeks prior from Germany and it’s NOT IN PRINT anymore. He made some excuse about getting it out when he gets home, because all his stuff was in the car. Anyway, I sent him about 3 messages over the next 10 days, saying that I want my CD before Xmas. He replies with a simple “ok”, “ok” and “It’s not in my CDJ, but I will have a look in my CD wallet". I said make sure and either way I will see you on Xmas day. Very nonchalant about the whole thing. Total disrespect!

Fast-forward 7 days later to Xmas Day


I had an orphans Xmas (Xmas with friends as we don’t have family where we are with people from South Africa, France, Germany and America) at my buddy “Kevin’s” house. I see him at Kev’s house and he says that he couldn’t find the CD. At this point I don’t say anything. Well what can I say!!


During the Xmas day, he was rude to another one of the guests (this French guy), taking the p*** out of his accent and he said a couple of unsavoury things to me. I just brushed it off, as I didn’t want to cause a scene and ruin Xmas for everyone else. I think the “French” guy also felt the same way. He also brought a bottle of single malt whisky with him, where the bottle was small and had already been opened. The thing is he only took it out of his bag, only when he wanted a drink. Note that my buddy “Kevin”, is is loaded and basically had everything sorted out for Xmas, including expensive wines, spirits and a full roast dinner. We didn’t want for anything. Even still, everyone brought a bottle of wine at least a show of appreciation. He brings a bottle of spirits and keeps it to himself


So now you know why I don’t like the guy and I’m not afraid to tell him this when I see him, especially after him losing my “CD”. However, my flatmate has invited him to our place on NYE tomorrow night. I have two gay friends of mine and I’m sure he will say something to or about them. Hopefully, he will so he can give me enough justification points to knock him out (OK… I know I should take the high road, but I’m just fantasizing a little).


I basically don’t’ want him at my house, but I share with my flatmate and he is his friend. Am I justified in saying I don’t want him around or shall I just shut up until he says/ does something wrong then we can kick him out.





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Me personally. I wouldn't have ANYONE in my house that I didn't trust. I recall a time when a friend of a friend used to come to my house and I couldn't trust that if he went to the bathroom, he wouldn't steal something. I asked the mutual friend never to bring him around anymore and they respected my wishes.

And I certainly wouldn't have any trouble telling someone who had made personal racist remarks to me or my friends that they were no longer welcome.


I know that I am a woman, and it's slightly different and if you feel it would cause problems not letting him in at such short notice, then let him come but if he 'performs' again, then tell him on his way out or even the next day, that he is not welcome at your home anymore.

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If you don't trust him...and he has conveniently "lost" your CD and not even offered to find a replacement somehow, he is inconsiderate and even offensive to your friends, then I think it is completely within reason to not want him over.


My boyfriends old roommates had a party once while he was out (they brought people home from bar, and bf had not known ahead of time), and some guy had broken into his laptop, and files, and taken personal information - he then made some charges on his new credit card. Never have people in your house you don't trust.


I also agree, that I would NOT want someone around whom treated others the way this guy did. I would make it very clear he was not welcome.


However, since he is your flatmates friend, it seems that you can't exactly BAN him, but I would let your flatmate know your concerns. And then I would just make sure you lock up all your valuables (do not give him anymore CD's!) and watch him. It may be excessive, but in my opinion he has already proved he is a thief. If he says anything offensive or cruel, give him the boot out of the house.

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I think that you should tell your flatmate everything you said in this post. If he still wants this person hanging out, then let him know that he will be held accountable for anything this guy does. This guy sounds like such a jerk, but just try to ignore him, if you have to be around him.

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In the end, he is probably going to end up coming over on New Years Eve, seeing as he is your roommates friend. I"m sure you can still have a good time with him there just try to enjoy yourself and ignore him and just have a good time with your friends. If you are concerned about him stealing then i would talk to your roommate about it because that is definitely a good reason to have him banned from your place. HOpefully your roommate will understand.

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Hi Guy's,


Thanks for your quick responses. I'm not worried about him stealing again (he won't have the opportunity!) it's just that I don't want to be around someone like that.


My plan of action is to have another word with my flatmate tonight (saying what I said in the email) and that I don't want him here. However, seeing that it is his friend, if he says anything out of turn (anything!) then I will personally throw him out.


It really sucks when people really take the p*** and advantage out of other peoples hospitality and kindness (mine and others). It's quite sad really, as they don't realize that they are just hurting themselves in the long run.



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