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hey everyone, i actually have two sex-related questions. i apologize in advance for making a long post.


i'm 18 and my girlfriend is 17. we're been together for 8 months and we're very happy together. we're doing the long distance relationship with no problems, and for the past two weeks i've been home on holiday from university. here is the first issue that i'd like some advice on:


today my girlfriend mentioned something that got me thinking a little bit. she said that she was worried that our physical relationship was getting too predictable, or to a "same old, same old" kind of situation. basically, we start with making out, then get to petting and then clothing comes off and then eventually we're at 3rd base (i consider 3rd to be oral sex) and then we're done (we're not ready to have actual intercourse yet) we usually do this at my house, in my bedroom. she's right, it's practically the same thing every time.


so i'm curious as to how i can change this situation and break the monotony in our physical relationship. like i said, we're happy together and we communicate well, so i'm open to literally any suggestions: activities, places, anything. when she brought this up, i asked her if there was anything we could do to fix the problem but she didn't have an answer.


my second question is somewhat related i guess:


when we hook up, i usually "finish" through whatever means, and sometimes even more than once. however, she's never been able to have an orgasm. i definetly understand that in general, it's difficult for a girl to actually finish. she can get close, but then she says after a certain point she stops feeling anything down there, and sometimes it gets uncomfortable for her. i've tried fingering and going down on her and she enjoys both very much but for some reason stops responding after a few minutes of stimulation. is this common? more importantly, is there anything we can do about it?

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For the orgasm question I'd definintely recommend waiting as long as possible before getting "down there"- go everywhere else until she really can't wait for it. Sometimes it just gets to the endgame too quickly but as long as there's more to come its much more exciting. Try just waiting- make her take her and your own clothes off.


To help that (and this is perhaps terrible advice in terms of health and safety) try going on a really long drive someone and just keep teasing each other until by the time you get where your going (even if thats a big circle and you just get home) you are both dying for it- you might not even make it where you're going!!!




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As Happytown suggested for your second question, you should take your time. It's possible that your girlfriend could still be nervous. Just focus on making her comfortable with everything before you go for the "endgame". For instance, try giving her a nice backrub or even kissing her more all over. As for losing feeling down there, see what happens if you are gentler with her.


As for spicing things up for you two, you could consider is doing something very nice for your girlfriend such as a romantic dinner -- especially if you can cook! Another thing you could try is taking her out dancing. If you're not comfortable doing that in public, you could get some music and slow dance with her at home. Many ladies also like flowers, especially when they are unexpected. Fgure out if she has a some favorites and get a bouquet of them for her.

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those are good suggestiolns. i actually did bring her surprise flowers for our 8 month aniiversary and she was very happy. every now and then we do go out to a nice restaurant for dinner, but not often.


i like the waiting strategy. and i also realize that she might have trouble orgasming because she feels like she won't be able to before we start, ie performance anxiety (women can have that right?)

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