No Contact for real!!!

[nikkers04]

Well I'm not sure where to start...I've said this a thousand times "I'm going to start no contact" guess what everytime I fail. I'm so depressed I'm suicidal and its been over 6 months. I would never kill myself but the urge to cause pain so my heart won't hurt the worst out of my hole body is UNBEARABLE! So here is my story!

 

He watched me hold a knife to myself today...>What kind of person have I become? I use to be so happy. No worries in the world I got a 4.0 in college this semster....and it meant nothing. I want to be the person he use to love the person he can love... of course its not all my fault but we all know it sure doesn't feel that way does it?

 

He told me he wants me to move in with him but he wants time to do what he wants...meaning other girls and me not to get mad at him for it because all he wants is time to do his own thing... to do what 99% of every 20 year old male wants...to be single.

 

So why did he drag me around for 4 years....pretending to love me? Asking me to marry him?? Telling me he would never hurt me? He turned me into something I never wanted to me....someone who hates themselves so much they think about ending it.

 

Im going to talk to him tomorrow lay it all out...then from there on out...thats it. I'm done. I want him to love me and I shouldn't have to be in an open relationship so he can go have his fun. My goal is one month then we will see from there!

Sorry this was so long but any advice would be great....Thanks for your time!

[Ghostrider4042005]

don't even think about suicide one man is not the end of the world you always have another day for things to get better if he wants to live with you n do his own thing tell him to stay out nobody deserves anybody like him just forget about him

[lewisbn11]

Hey im 20 and a male and there is nothing more i want then to be in a relationship. Not all males want to go out and be single! Ive done that a bit but i love sharing things with a partner. even if things don't work for life but i think its fun to be with someone else.