Doing something over and over again...

[ocrob]

that gets the same negative results is called insanity. I was just analyzing myself and what I have recently learned from this site. I just started NC about three weeks ago and have been doing pretty well. I have decided that if a woman ever breaks up with me or does not show interest, I will not let it get to me and move on.

 

Well, I just caught myself getting sucked into the trap already. I went on a date about a week and a half ago. We have talked a lot in the last three weeks. I am very expressive and have been complimenting this woman and just being really honest. After our date, I kept saying that I wanted to see her again. Right after our date, she e-mailed me and said we must do it again, and again, and again. Well, lately she has been totally flirting with me. She says I am cute and sweet. She says she can't believe I don't have a GF. etc. Well, we did not get to meet up last week because she was busy and I went to my parents on thursday. Well, I asked to see her this week before she leaves for back east till the 7th. Yesterday she said we would have plans wednesday. She called me last night and we both flirted etc. I have made it clear I am interested in getting to know her, but have made it clear I don't like someone till I get to know them.

 

Well, I knew she would be busy tonight because she is buying a car. Well, we were IMing today and I think she was really busy because she was not being as friendly as usual. She said she was feeling spread thin. I asked, if that meant we would not see each other? Then said, I would really like to see her and I would be more than happy to drive out to her and we could just hang for an hour. She asked if I wouldn't mind just waiting for her to get back.

 

Well, after this happeneded I felt kind of dissed. She may be moving back to her old city in a few weeks and it just seems that if she really wanted to see me she would. HERE IS THE POINT: I realized that I need to chill. It does not matter if she does not want to see me or why. I have been on one date with this woman and she owes me nothing. I look at it this way, if I still want to see her and she wants to see me, then we will. I am just going to chill and let her put the effort in. I was hoping to get to know her better before and if she moves. Maybe that is something to be avoided anyway? I guess I am saying as we all talk about, it does not matter why. It is about actions and we can't let ourselves be walked over. She is very sweet, but I will not sit and beg to see her.

 

Kind of a boring one. Sorry.

 

ocrob

[smorgie]

I can identify with you. I also take things to heart when someone doesn't respond to me with the same excitement I may have towards them. I really dont have an answer for you, but just thought you should know I have the same problems. It sucks. You can't control someone elses feelings. I just keep on telling myself that I'll find someone someday thats just as excited about me as I am about them, and it will stay that way.