Ex and I...um...yeah, um, we had sex yesterday!

[Orlander]

Hello gang,

 

I've posted a few threads about my situation with my ex. (last post here Since my ex has finished school, she has been super nice and attentive. Last week she came over twice to put up a stocking filled with Christmas goodies and to leave a couple of presents under my tree. She has brought over her new dog a couple of times and even brought over chicken soup when I had broncitis. (feeling much better now)

 

She had a birthday last week and every year for the past 4 years I had gone to her party, but we just started speaking again and I guess she didnt feel comfortable inviting me, so she didnt. When I asked her why she didnt invite me, she didnt have anything to say at first. She couldnt think of a good reason. It just didnt occur to her that I might have wanted to go. She did say "I just dont think we are at that point yet, it would be confusing to my family." I asked her what she meant by that because, well, if we were just friends, as she had wanted us to be for these past 4 months, then why would it be uncomfortable to invite a friend to a birthday party? I could read between the lines though and told her not to worry about it. I told her, when I felt better, that we would sit and talk about things as we have wanted to do...to talk about us and what each of us wanted now. I could tell though, that she was serious about wanting me back, at least that was my impression.

 

I had been too sick and busy to really give much thought about us or to sit and have a heart to heart with her. We had actually talked about sitting this week and talking. This past weekend we hung out Friday night after a party I had, didnt talk at all on Christmas Eve, and hung out on Christmas evening where we made cookies and tried to go see a movie. The movie was sold out, so we ended up going back to her place to watch one on DVD. We cuddled and hung out and fell asleep. We awoke the next morning and talked a bit. We had plans to go see a movie in the afternoon. I started to rub her back, out of habit more than anything and she gave me one of those "careful, you know that is my weak spot!".

 

I knew where this was going. I told her I never gave her the birthday spankings on her birthday and she basically said "Go ahead!" So, we had sex. It was good, it was great! It had been a while for both of us. At one point right before the act, we started to kiss and I asked her what she wanted. She said "Well, I dont want to spend the entire afternoon just kissing. I'm in a "Take me now!" kind of mood!" So, that is what I did.

 

Now, this is the girl who said just a couple of weeks ago that she wanted to wait until she got engaged before having sex again. But, I took someone's advice from this forum and decided not to make things so serious, planned or boring. She's a grown woman and I am a grown man. Neither or us has said anything about making any mistakes yesterday. The only thing she has said is "I hope you dont think that this means we will be having sex all the time." I said, "I dont think any such thing. I know we still have to have our talk." "Yes, I think we should talk about things" she said.

 

She has been joking about rings and marriage and even made a comment yesterday about someone on TV who couldnt make a commitment. She looked at me and said with a smile "Why can't a guy just say he is in love and propose?", or something along that line. I don't think she is just hooking up with me. I really do think she wants to get back together. I was a little shocked about what happened yesterday. I'm going over to her place tonight to watch a movie, hang out and to spend the night. Not that that would mean we would have sex of course...but, um, yeah...who knows.

 

I really dont understand women sometimes, well, at least this woman. i'm trying not to take things so seriously and just take things one day at a time. It's tough though. Things have been so hard for the past few months. We need to have that talk this week. There is a lot we need to talk about.

 

So, this is her way of telling me for sure she wants me back, or was yesterday a booty call? I know I should ask her and I will. I think the talk will clear things up. I'm just not sure what to say. Things are even more complicated now because we had sex, but maybe they are better...I dont know. Anyone have any insights?

 

 

Orlander

[DN]

I would let her inititate anything tonight and see what she does. And it may be a good idea to ask what she wants - but make sure that you know what you want first.

 

That way you can be prepared how to react if she wants to give you less than you need in respect of a relationship. .

[zita]

I have had the same experinece. I am sure she still has feelings for you but sometimes we all have our needs. like perhaps having sex with some1 u know well, some1 who cares for u is more comfortable. She might have da same confusion within herself too, esepecially wehn two of you are still single or are not seeing anyone yet, it's hard to get over some1 complettly. If you wana break it off from here, u have to b very cruel to urself, like stop haning out with her, try to avoid times when there will just b 2 of u. But if you want to get bk together with her, ask her now, ask her why u wanna do this, it's better to get a clearer insight of wat she's thinking first. If she feels da same way, then go ahead. Dun let sex to make u feel u have to stay together, because u might b surprise to find out she starts to see some1 else and the only person being hurt is u. So be firm abt wat u want, either a YES or No, try not to stay inbetween. I am sure things will work out soon for u, GOOD LUCK!!

[bsp_kjm]

hey man, hope things work out the way you want and she isnt just hitting u up for a bootycall.

[Orlander]

Last night was decent. It was nice to lie in bed, watch a movie and cuddle. That's all we did. She told me this afternoon she is trying to be a good girl. That translate into "We wont have sex again until I'm too horny to resist you like the other day."

 

I told her that we needed to talk about the "pink elephant that's in the room and no one is talking about". I think this weekend, if not sooner, we are going to sit down and talk about our past, present and potential future and also what happened the other day.

 

I'm really not letting it stress me out too much. Thanks for the replies. I'll post again after our talk.

 

 

Orlander

[Pikey1972]

Hope the talk goes well Orlander - take care, look after yourself and keep us posted.