Ended on christmas!

[BigSyke]

I dont know where to start, but my ex as of today has been very unstable. Usually on weekends she breaks up with me to go with her friends and gets drunk(and lies about it). Every holliday including aniversarys she has been doing this. She wont answer my calls (sometimes by accident) or really text me. She has cheated bla bla bla.

 

Anyway lately she has been ditching me more often. So christmas came around and she wanted a nice diamond necklace. I really didnt want to get her anything but i did. Well i gave it to her last night and she thought it was fake. So she made fun of it with her family. I left and she started all this drama how i was a liar and just then did the ignoring game. Today is christmas and we had plans to go see a movie. Well she really didnt call me at all or answer any of my texts.

 

I started to beg her to talk to me. and still she didnt. Well i then got the "I dont want to do this anymore, were done text". So i paniced and for the next few hours begged and tried to call. Nothing except one answer which was an accident and she hung up immediately. That is the one thing i cant stand, esp on christmas. So after hours of begging and no response i dropped the bomb.

 

I text her back in the meanest text i could do. I was so fed up with this. I always would sit at home and wait for her. It was our 1 year aswell. I had to text her the measest stuff because i couldnt leave room open for me crying back to her (which would be impossible). I really said some horrible stuff, but still i spent soo much money on her for christmas and i dont think i really deserve to be treated like this. I know i bring this all on myself and im the reason she treats me like this.

 

30 mins after the killer text she calls and starts yelinng F*** yoU! i hate you dont ever call me you loser! then her relatives follow saying watch out, your gonna get some pain or what not.

 

Did I really F*** this one up? i really love her but seriously i wouldnt ever imagine anyone breaking up with me on christmas for NO REASON! do i just give it time?

[annie24]

wow - she is one mean *beep*. Let's see - she breaks up with you consistently, demands a diamond necklace, and then makes fun of you in front of her family aout it.

 

Why do you want her? Why do you like her? Do you enjoy humiliation and being mistreated?

 

Trust me - there are lots of great girls out there. I don't think people should get back together with a person who has broken up with them more than once. She exceeded this limit LONG ago. Forget her. You're better off without her.

 

She doesn't love you. She only loves herself.

[DN]

I agree with the others. Absolutely.

 

But, as your final contact with her - mail her a copy of the receipt with no other message

[zita]

OMG, i have never seen girls like that.

don't get into the trap again.

find someone great ignore her from now on.

u deserve someone much better for yr 2006 and onward. ^^

[BigSyke]

yea i always seem to blow giving an explination. So she texted me a minute ago saying how perfect she was and that i was the loser and how she was gonna have someone murder me.

 

I dont know if i should get a restraining order? call the cops? i dont know if she is serious but i received a few threats from her family members already.

 

You guys im seriously dying here she was a good girl some of the times. But since she got on depression pills she has been acting really messed up.

 

How do i deal with this- as me having NO friends anymore and no family, and her having EVERYTHING. how do you greive this? everything i do reminds me of her.

 

I do have self esteem issues and issues with my parents that ive been trying to deal with. Ive been trying to help her out by choosing the right paths in life too, but she just says im trying to destroy her life. Ive been at this stage before and it was the worst 9 months of my life. I have work in like 4 hours and WILL not beable to sleep.

 

I just hope they dont really try to do somthing because they have in the past. One time one of my friends got so fed up with how she treated me, he told her off, and insulted her. Well she blamed me for what my friend said, and well had her dad attack me. Her sister and brother were out looking for me the whole night too. All because my friend said she was worthless material for treating me like crap. HAHA but still im frickin going crazy right now. I really wish i had somebody to talk to. (my friends dont wanna hear it, and tell me to stop talking about her...so im not gonna even try to talk to my friends)

[BigSyke]

ok will do....but i just made the BIGGEST mistake of my life (the one you make when your emotional like this) when she texted me about somebody is going to actually kill me, i replied -i know it was wrong, but that was the only way for me to break free.

 

She replied with ohh i see, and now "well, goodnight".......I CANT LET THIS HAPPEN. Ive been trying to get out of this for soo long, should i throw my phone away!? man i have to move on, but im so weak minded. Shes like the ONLY thing i have, and by nature i retreat to her when she says "nice" things.

 

Haha should i send another horrid text? hehe just to make sure I CANT get back? thank you all for being here, i know my friends are fed up with me talking about her.

[Danny H]

No more texts, just disappear off the radar and do your own things.

 

Keep a copy of the threats though ,in case.

 

I have got to say you win the prize for going out with Bi#ch of the year.She sounds completely evil

[Chan209]

Damn dude... are we twins or something?? I feel like I know someone like that too (and just got done more/less telling her off tonight). My advice: move on...get rid of her. You deserve a whole lot better!

[Vanilla]

oh my God she is insane. and MEAN!!! how did you put up with that? I mean we all take some pretty rough crap at times, but that is abuse...RUN and I would show the cops the threats on your phone. People never think its serious and then they are found dead.

 

dont you think its a bit strange her AND her fam would threaten you??? no way man, run run, and stop by the cops on your way out!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Hope75]

I think you know how unhealthy this relationship is and has been since the beginning. Pretty clear that someone who treats you this way, cheats, threatens to kill you..... does not love or respect you.

 

Now that you know this, your only course of action is to STAY AWAY FROM HER.

 

I agree with others that you have some self esteem issues to work out, or you would NEVER let someone treat you this way. Trust me when I say that there is MUCH better out there and you deserve that, but only have a shot at it when you begin to realize your own worth and not ALLOW someone to treat you so poorly.

 

Every time you take her back you show her that you accept this treatment, and it's a vicious cycle.

 

Time to stop it and keep her out of your life.

[Vanilla]

but please also show the cops these messages. i never understand why people who get threatened to death dont report it!!!

 

a good friend of mine in europe was threatened by her ex that if she dated someone else he'd kill him and her. so she didnt listen to him, went on some dates....her EX showed up at her house with a knife banging on the door!! AND SHE STILL HAS NOT REPORTED IT.

 

I can't emphasize how important this is.

 

I currently live and come from a peaceful small town in the swiss riviera after living in a big city in the USA for 11 years and I can tell you people here are crazy!!!! I am back on vacation and it worries me to see what is STILL happening here, worse and worse each time.

 

PLease be careful!

[darkblue]

This is a very very unhealthy situation, and you must take immediate action to correct it.

I don't care if you think you love this girl - you don't deserve this.

It's time to get out completely - once and for all.

 

Turn your phone off for the time being. Block her IM addresses and block her emails.

 

Take care.

[ocrob]

I agree bro, her family or friends sound pretty scary. Don't disrespect her or talk smack because these people may pay you a visit. It is not good to get on the bad side of certain people. I think she disrespected you about the diamonds and she was so mean, but you have to remain cool. I don't know her family or friends, but you just may need to bow out gracefully. Not worth getting a cap in your a** Yes, I watch movies. lol

[BigSyke]

thanks guys for all the replies. Today was the worst. I went to work and could not stop tearing up! seriously infront of clients it was horrible. this has to be the worst feeling somebody could ever go through.

 

I seriously did make a mistake. I should have NEVER had texted her that stupid message to get her all mad. Im really stuck now and i have uncontrolably been staring at my phone for the past 9 hours. I know texting is the WORST thing to do, but i just asked her if I could quickly get my necklace back sometime. I got no response. Its soo hard and i used to be the one giving advice, until it happens.

 

I think i made a mistake, i know she isnt perfect but maybe its myself that was blinded. How can i make her at least talk to me again? just doing No contact? usually she would have at least texted me by now. I shouldnt have said those things! AGH!

[BigSyke]

but she doesnt think what she did was wrong at ALL. We have talked about it over and over again in the past. So basically i look like a psycho for flipping out about it. And esp. last night. GOD! im so stupid! now that i think about it more, she was with her family.....But still usually she keeps in touch and last night she just didnt and broke up with me for trying to call her.

 

I was acting like an a-hole that past few days, and she has that time of the month, so it was not pretty. I was getting sick of the way she treated me and acting all parinoid and STUPID! Well looks like what i did was probably one of the worst F***ups of all time. I should have just eased off her back for a while. Thats the hard part, is when you start to realise its you.

[BigSyke]

i dont know im confusing myself. I just cant stop crying i was going to marry this girl. I dont know what to do know, im loosing my mind. I cant stop smoking, and if I go 10 minutes without a ciggerete i start crying again and slamming my head against the wall.. I REALLY DIDNT NEED TO SAY THOSE THINGS TO HER! Now she will never talk to me again. I just wanna make sure she is ok, and she wont respond.

[Danny H]

BigSyke, you are not listening to what 100% of the replies on here are saying.

 

SHE IS TAKING THE PI#S- as we say in the U.K.

Stop beating yourself up

[darkblue]

You are allowed to say piss.

And yes, yes she is.

[annie24]

Slang interpretation please...........

 

 

 

yeah, I don't know what that means either, but I'm guessing he's trying to say that this girl is a really really really mean person! (rhymes with witch!)

 

I agree - I have no idea why the original poster is beating himself up - she's the one who's acted horribly in this situation - he's done nothing wrong! (besides worry about her)

[darkblue]

Taking the piss - basically means using him. Taking advantage/control of him.

[DN]

At one time it meant just mocking someone, not always in a nasty way, but has expanded to also mean taking advantage in a mean and spiteful way.

[DN]

from a Dictionary of Slang:

Vrb phrs. 1. To ridicule, to tease, to make fun off. Cf. 'extract the urine'.

2. To take advantage of, to exploit. E.g."Just because they like looking after their grand children, doesn't mean you can dump the kids on them every weekend whilst you go out clubbing. That's just taking the piss."

[BigSyke]

looks like i calmed down a bit. But after reading this thread a thousand times you guys are so right. Its just the horrible fact that she met someone else, and thats the reason shes pretending i dont exsist. Knowing im probably not the best boyfriend, i dont think i deserve to cry like this.

 

She called and was totally cold. they always are when its official. It sucks knowing shes spending the night there too. 1 year on christmas and boom, its like it was the 365 day jinks or somthing. And on day 366 shes out messing around like shes never spent every day with me. ouch. Im just trying to think of the crap i do wrong to make her treat me like this, only to repair for the next relationship. I guess i just grew bitter towards her after all the lies and cheating, even though she had a very good way of making me forgive her.

 

I feel lower than dirt right now. I think i just messed up things with another chick too that ive been attracted to for awhile. I just cant talk the same anymore, i feel like im unworthy of anybody. and thats how my ex feels about me too. funny how they can break attachment so fast.

[BigSyke]

can i ask everybody a question or so? i really need to figure this out! Im thinking that i did everything wrong here, but im not so sure anymore.

 

Was i wrong to try to call her hundreds of times on christmas? She promised it with me and we had special plans. she only answered once saying she will call me in 30 minutes. she never did. So i panicked and 6 hours later started calling and texting her. was that wrong?

 

Is it wrong to get angry when she goes out with her friends, but gets drunk and smokes weed and lies about it? you can tell when somebody is drunk and high and she lies about it. I supposidly am the most horrid person for accusing her of this, and getting mad.

 

Is it bad to get angry and say that if she doesnt change, i will leave and find somebody who will treat me right? I only say this when she makes plans and ditches me and never answers my calls for the rest of the night.

 

This is only 5% of what ive been going through lately with her. We were perfect at one point, but she has been ditching me every chance she can get. Is she just bored? if so why does she say were getting married in the summer?

[Danny H]

She is using you in the worst possible way.

She realises you are coming from a position of weakness and she has done nothing to build you up.

She seems to realise she has you under total control and she has used that constantly to her advantage.

 

And you are doing all in your power to make your life worse.

 

You love the idea of what you think she is, but Syke she isn't that at all, she is a figment of your memory.

 

If you could only get some perspective on your situation you'd see that you have to walk away completely and fast.

 

Best

 

dan