Spoke with Ex... Drove a stake through my heart.

[antigravity]

I broke up with me partner of 5 years, about 3 months ago...

 

We live in australia, but she's brazilian, and went back there for a holiday, and has been there for a month.

 

We've slowly been speaking again because I felt I was ready for it.

 

The other night she told me she slept with her old long lost friend 4 times... And it absolutely killed me. I didn't get angry at her.. Just told her "wow.. that hurts more than I though". He's not her type at all, and she's not the kind of girl who sleeps with people. She's only ever slept with someone while in a committed relationship. Well not anymore..

 

I felt like a hot knife was being stabbed right in my stomach... It really really hurt

 

Now why am I hurting? I've slept with someone since the breakup too, and have made out with 3 or 4 in total. So why does it hurt sooo much??

 

Is it because she knew this guy years ago, breaks up with me, and goes straight back to him? And shags him completely out of character? I don't know if it'd hurt so much if it was just some random guy she met.

 

Why all the pain?? What did I do to feel this incredible pain that always seems to come back....

[Hope75]

I don't understand why she felt the need to tell you she slept with someone else since your breakup. Any reason she volunteered this information?

[antigravity]

I asked her if she met anyone...

 

I thought maybe I was ready for it.. I wasn't prepared for the whole "long lost friend" thing though.

 

She hasn't seen him for 8 years.. soon as we break up, she's in contact with him on MSN.. Goes to brazil.. They have sex 4 times and he says he wants to come back to australia with her.

 

It hurts because I heard about this guy quite often during our 5 years together.

 

Oh man.

[healinginnyc81]

Hey antigravity, I am really sorry to hear about this. She may just be trying to escape her hurt from the breakup by sleeping with this guy.

 

Whatever it is, I think you haven't taken enough time to get over her and forget about her. I'm sorry you are feeling the pain now but I think you should take some time to help you heal.

[antigravity]

I can't forget about her, because we share the same friends... She'll always in my life unless I stop seeing our friends.

 

All my friends say I can't be upset, because I've slept with other people too. But I feel like what she's done has more feeling to it. He was contemplating coming to Australia with her to LIVE!! Wow... they only saw each other for a few days before they started going at it.

 

But they're not seeing each other anymore.. I think he said all this just to have sex with her... They had sex 4 four times, then he said he doesn't want to get hurt because he won't be able to go to australia with her....

 

Funny that he decides that after pumping her a few times... I think she's gotten played.

[Relationship Coach]

We are all possessive creatures, it is in our nature to be. What once was ours is always our in our minds and hearts. The pain becomes heightened because something that was intimate and special between the two of you has now been cheapened. We are also visual and you probably had a brief picture of their interlude burned in to your mind.

 

As children we are taught to share, why? Because it is natural not too. Think about it, how would you like to see someone you don't really like riding your bike? Even if it was a bike you gave to charity or sold in a garage sale. Follow me?

 

As for you making the rounds yourself, you are being hypocritical if you are judging her for doing the same thing. Let it go and realize she has done the deed with someone else, as painful as it seems, it might be the thing to push you in the direction to emotionally release her as yours no more.