What is Right?

[Giant]

Back in October and early November, I had feelings for this one girl at school. This girl, is a good friend of mine and still is a good friend of mine. In November, I sumed up the courage and tried to ask her out. She figured out when I asked her that I have developed passionate feelings for her... feelings of attachment, affection; those... warm and fuzzy feelings we all tend to get when we are happy and spiritual. She said that she "didn't" share the same feelings for me as I have for her. She says that she would rather stay good friends. She says that to her, I am a highly valued friend and I hold her to her word for I consider her the same... in fact, she is the greatest friend I have ever had. Even though she said "no," I felt a little down, but I got over it, put those feelings aside. A week later, I found out that this other girl had a serious crush on me... apparently, a crush that lasted for just over two years. She passed me a note and after reading the note, I felt immensly better about myself--a relationship was born.

 

Two weeks later; however, and this still bugs me, makes me feel... uneasy... I was... DUMPED!!!! To the eyes of other people, I am a person who doesn't show his emotions, but when I feel sad and depressed, there is a couple of people who knew from a glance that something was troubling me... and one of those people was the first girl I tried to ask out. That breakup happened four weeks ago, yet I still feel that I am in the dumps.

 

And yet again... two and a half weeks ago, another girl started to hang out with me... she told me herself that she had a crush on me for over a year. But since this is the "third" attempt, I am a bit skeptical about "putting in the commitment." I wouldn't say that I am NOT going to consider her a girlfriend, it is just that... I am not ready to say, "ok." I am still hurting on the inside... but there is more to add to that.

 

Over the course of the last three weeks, I have been recieving different "glances" from the first girl that I tried to ask out. On the bus, when she is sitting behind me, I get a feeling that she is giving me the "look" through the mirror and when I glance up, eye contact is immediately made. Judging from her facial expressions, she may be developing certain feelings towards me, but I just don't know if asking her is the right thing to do. Inadvertadly, the feelings that I originally had for her (ones that I put aside) began to resurface... now im getting a little stressed out.

 

I don't really understand where this is going. For me, it feels that I am being torn apart between two people. I know for a fact that one has feelings for me because she told me directly, but the one whom I tried to ask out, I am not entirely sure. I don't want to assume... assuming can lead to making me an ... out of you and me [you as in the person who I have these feelings for].

 

Anyway, to cut to the chase, can someone here please tell me what I should do, if there is anything to do. To be absolutly honest, I would very much want to go out with the first person whom I had these feelings for, but I don't want to make an assumption that she may be developing feelings for me, it could very much lead to more trouble than originally anticipated.

[registered]

Well you said this:

I am not ready to say, "ok." I am still hurting on the inside

Maybe you should give it all a bit of time and just try and have a break from all these girls chasing after you (I wish that would happen to me!)

If you feel like you aren't ready then this might be best.

 

At least this new girl with the crush never said "no" to you... if you want to give a relationship a shot I'd try getting to know her and leave your relationship with the first girl as platonic.

[ShySoul]

I agree with registered, if you aren't ready for something right now and are feeling confused maybe its best that you take time to heal and not think about getting involved with anyone. You need time to work things out and should take it slow.

[Giant]

Well, ShySoul, I believe you may have provided the right piece of advice. The mind on the inside is telling me to stop and take a "good long look at yourself."

 

Also, to registered, thanks for the bit of advice, I'll hold onto that.

 

To be honest, I was a bit skeptical about coming here for advice, but I guess that I may have been proven wrong. Once again, thanks for the advice.

[ShySoul]

Learn to trust that mind on the inside, it generally will lead you in the right direction. Often people try to overthink things and ignore what they feel is the right thing to do, thus making things worse or confusing themselves.

 

The people here for the most part are very helpful. Don't hesitate to post again if you need to. We'll be glad to help you out in any way we can.

 

Have a nice day.