Friend problem

[Goincrazy]

My friend is completely obsessed over a particular guy. She is in college right now and only sees this guy when she goes home. I guess you could classify them as friends with benefits. She wants a relationship, but he just wants to play around. Every time she comes home for a weekend or big break, she sees him and is very happy. He leads her on to believe that he wants to have a relationship with her, but by the time she leaves to go back to college, he says he changed his mind. This happens EVERY TIME. The guy is using her and because of it, I'm one of the friends that has to deal with it by making her feel better. She is always depressed when she thinks of him, but at the same time, thinks that no other guy could fill his place. She can't move on from this if the guy keeps convincing her that he has changed his mind. Each time she is deceived, she admits being naive and promises to never go back to him.....sometimes she resists for a little while but she ultimately crawls back to him everytime. The situation seems like it is out of my hands but I want to do something. I can't stand to see her go on like this. Should I talk to the guy and interfere or sit back and watch this happen? BTW, she would get mad if she found out I tried to solve the situation by talking to him. What should I do?

[the yang to the worlds yin]

your best option is to just leave it be. i know she's your friend and you don't wanna see her hurt, but if you've told her what you tihnk about this, then theres nothing more you can do. don't go behind her back and try and talk to him, that wouldn't be right

[annie24]

I think you should buy her the book, "He's just not that into you" for christmas.

 

Another poster just asked a similar question. You sound like a sweet friend, but unfortunately (and I think you know this), this is a lesson your friend will have to learn for herself. In the meantime, be supportive.

 

Really though, I'm not kidding about the book. Clearly, he's "not into her." Maybe the book will snap her eyes open.

[Mun]

Goincrazy, you're right, this is out of your hands. It seems your friend knows what she's getting into each time she sees this guy but secretly hopes things will change. You know they won't. Let her find out for herself. As much as you want to help her, she needs to help herself...and right now she doesn't care to. If it bothers you that much then try limiting your time with her, you can still be her friend and be supportive without getting involved.

 

I'm afraid talking to the guy won't make much difference, she is making a choice here, nobody is forcing her to be with him. Let her deal with it.

[Goincrazy]

thanks for the comments!!