What's your opinion to the relationship between someone's mother and wife

[SimonBlume]

First of all, let me be frank: I'm a Chinese. So what I put down might not apply to american society and I am not sure people will be interested. I do love this forum so much: I've found no one that is mean and i do feel related to people here. It's really odd but pleasant feeling. I feel we're actually quite similar though we're not of the same race perhaps.

 

A huge problem in the current Chinese community is the relationship between a man's mother and his wife. Tradionally Chinese people believed they should always keep "filial piety", meaning that they should try their best to be nice to their parents. I guess this is so even in America. But I do not know whether an american man will also require his wife to do so to his own mother or not: when his parents want to live with him and his wife, his wife has to agree otherwise she's not "filial piety"; she should often buy gifts for his parents; she should love his parents the same way he loves his own parents, or she loves her own parents.

 

Most of the educated Chinese women nowadays believe that, although they should try to be nice to their husbands' mother and father, they can't love their husbands' mother and father the same way they love their own parents.

 

Is this the same in America or not? ](*,)

 

========================

I do not put this down in a "marriage" board because I love our board "finding love and soul mate" more. Is it fine to write such things here?

[LostInMyThoughts]

In america, its less of a cultural and societal issue; it really depends on the person, and the family dynamic.

 

It's a common joke that American families stuggle with thier "in-law" families. Many movies and television shows make fun of this like Everybody Loves Raymond.

 

But there also many families who genuinely get along and love each other; my ex-wife really did love my parents.

[ShySoul]

It isn't any formal relationship, it depends on the people involved. My brother's wife (in the middle of a divorce though) has for years been critcal of our mother. They have barely been tolerable of each other and haven't spoken in years since a huge fight they have. So sometimes the relationship is torn.

 

But my brother has a great relationship with her mom. Her mother even says she likes him better then her own daughter. He still goes up to see her even when the two of them have been separated and talking divorce for ages.

 

You want to be able to be nice and have a good relationship with in laws, but its not always the case. Best thing to do is to be as polite and respectful as possible.

[SimonBlume]

Thanks indeed for your inputs!