Finding love at a community college

[easyguy]

Is it possible?

 

I'm about to start my 2nd quarter at community college next week. Last quarter I met this girl in one of my classes (who was my study buddy) whom I was attracted to early on. Through the apparent "signs" she gave, I soon asked her out, but got rejected. I kept my cool and although she knew I was interested in her like that, we remained friends for the quarter. We chat online from time to time (she is really busy most of the time), but as of last week, I probably won't be seeing her anymore in person, as she is taking different classes than I.

 

That's just the thing -- you meet someone, and then you don't see her after a couple months when the quarter is over. And unlike a university, she could be out of state before you know it. (She is, but not for a year or so)

 

Even if you DO meet someone and sparks do fly, how do you manage to stay together after the quarter is over? The age difference can sometimes be shocking, because people of all ages go to community college. She was much older than I thought she was, which was part of the reason she rejected me.

 

Any advice for a community college student? (I'm 19, by the way)

 

Thanks!

[SilverManic]

In England our colleges are pretty much the same as this community college. I went out with a guy who was a few years older then me in my class but we eventually grew apart. Sometimes people don't want to date their class mates for the simple fact that if you break up you still have to see them in class if it's a bad break up.

We finished just before our exams but stayed good friends. If you broke up with someone just before your exams could you really concentrate? Maybe theres more to college relationships then people see. I never dated anyone that whent to my high school because of peer pressure but that didn't mean that I didn't date. Sometimes it's better to look outside. But some university/college relationships can really work and last a life time. It depends on the situation and the people. You don't know if you don't ask as they say.

~S.

[mgirl]

To answer your question, yes.

 

She turned your down the first time, but that doesn't mean she "rejected" you. People turn people down for all sorts of reasons, age being one of them, or sometimes they are too busy to get to know someone.

 

I wouldn't let the fact that she turned you down put you off. You will never know how she feels until you ask her.

 

If you want to stay in contact, keep her email address and keep emailing her during the second quarter. Ask her out to some movies or join a gym together or something. Keep the friendship going, but realise this is separate to you actually "liking" her.

 

Basically, staying in touch with her while liking her will mean that your expectations are different to hers. In her eyes, you are friends or acquaintences, having a good time. In your eyes, you are staying in touch with her with the possibility of it becoming more.

 

At some stage i believe you will have to be honest with her. If she turns you down again, you will have to realise she is probably not interested, and it is then that you will be rejected. But don't fear rejection... Think of it like you tried. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Approaching women is a learned practice and it is probably good that you stay in touch.

[cichlid]

If she is not interested in you...then she isn't interested in you. And you can meet a "love" just about anywhere. Not taking classes together has nothing to do with it. My BF and I go to a university and have never attended a class together. We have completely different majors and would never need to take the same classes.

 

And you stay in touch like you do anyone else you meet. Get numbers and just hang out outside of school!!! Phone numbers are best since you can get a hold of someone quickest.

[Jinx]

Yes. I see it all the time actually, up close.

 

It really depends, like you've said there is a huge array of ages and people. Universities seem to be a tad more bunched up than Community Colleges, which in that particular sense can make it easier.

 

Whereas, community colleges, yes there is an array of ages but its easier to find someone if say, you no longer have classes together or if you seen them while employed at a campus locale, more than likely you can just ask someone, "Have you seen so and so? Do you know so and so?". More than once have I used the random person, "Have you seen Sam Samuelton? Jennifer Johnson?" and so forth, and more often than not you'll get a "Yes, he/she is x place at x time." Its a wonderful tool that you can't use in the University setting for most people.

 

For certain people love comes quicker at community colleges, others it doesn't happen. Depends on the person and the approach. As others have said given that it is a smaller campus with more chances of seeing each other some fear rejection or break ups thus leaving for "bigger and better" places where the chances are slim or less if nothing else. Now on the up side, there seems to be a lot more people out there and looking for potential partners at the Junior level as compared to University. Again, degrees and life plans are almost a make or break for some as it pertains to the dating scene. Also on the up side, if you do find someone it is so much simpler to spend time with them and know where they may be.

 

Then like in any situation, no matter if its the community college, work, neighbor, bar, etc..., you do need some mutual attraction and ideal setting/situation to avoid rejection. I wouldn't take it too hard as others have mentioned and don't blame the College for it either. You may as well got the same answer had you met her at a party and spent more time, seen her at a bar and met up again, however. There was just something that didn't make the deal cut, may not of even had anything to do with you.

 

Furthermore, as for staying in contact, in our society of technology, email is easier to obtain than a phone number for most people. At this rate, little black books of yesterday with just phone #'s, will have both an email address and phone # column for todays changes. Most people don't mind, another thing is the SN's for different IM's. People can be particular but most cases aren't, because if you don't like a person you can go poof or block them. Last but not least we have the snail mail opinion, ask for an address where you can send letters since you can't see face to face. I suppose with Colleges or Universities where you know that there is a chance you won't see them after a certain quarter or year, you suck the life out of any contact resources you can especially if you have a bit of interest in them.

[atraceofblood]

what I've tried to do to stay in touch is get their instant messenger, but you can also get their email or phone number if it works out for you that way.

[ShySoul]

Yes, it is possible to find love anywhere. You can find it at college. You can find it in the laundromat. You can find it on the bus. It's not location that matters, its if the two people are compatible and love each other.

 

Staying in touch with her is the same as staying in touch with anyone. You can do it as long as you make the effort. Talk online. Phone each other. Arrange to get together every so often. If you both put in their effort, there is no reason for people to lose touch.