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Really scared... life altering events

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I need to ask you some advice and input about my relationship. This is very important! I really need your help. I realize this is somewhat long but I hope you'll read it and respond soon!


I'm scared to death right now! A small area of skin located on the base of my shaft (next to my scrotum) has been slowly developing for a few months now. I'm scared to death that I have the symptoms of genital warts! I didn't think much of the skin irritation at first because I have only had two partners. When I first developed the symptoms I didn't think much of it because her natural juices do irritate my skin. It causes me to be slightly itchy when it is on my skin for a little while. My skin is very sensitive in general so I didn't think much of it. The area of skin irritation is distinct. It's a straight line of raised flesh, the doesn't look any different from the skin pigment next to it, and it's a quarter of an inch high. Only now as the skin irritation continues to slowly grow have I checked out STD symptoms online. While checking them out my physical irritation looked like very few of the normal genital wart cases. However several pictures did have enough similarity to my irritation that I am worried! I plan on getting checked out as soon as possible, but I have the worst feeling I do have this.


I'm freaked out right now! I'm pretty confident that I do have genital warts. I had symptoms of warts, they continue to expand slowly, etc. I don't even understand how I even got this though!


My first partner I dated we shared in taking each other's virginity. I don't think I could have caught it from her because these symtoms just started developing and she was faithful for the larger part. I stopped having sex with her almost 2 years ago.


I'm currently dating the most precious woman of my life. I love her endlessly and we're soul mates. We are both very committed to one another. We've been dating for over 9 months now. We are hoping to get married when we finish up college and are currently considering getting engaged! She has had 3 sexual partners total. I don't think I would have gotten it from her because she has no symptoms and this has just recently developed. We've been having sex for that entire 9 months!


I am worried that she is going to get freaked out and it'll change our relationship. I know if she had an STD that it would be a little harder for me. I would still love her and be with her, but it might change my thinking about her. I'm not sure if it would, because she obviously doesn't have any STDs, but if she did I'm not sure how I'd react! I don't want her to think I'm some * * * * that got a disease for fooling around, I don't want her to think different of me, I don't want her to stop loving me! I'm scared and freaked out because I'll have to tell her! I don't want to lose her!! I feel really vulnerable because she's very beautiful and very desired. I'm scared that she wouldn't want to deal with my issue and be turned off and eventually end up leaving me.


Meantime.. I'm not telling her that I'm worried I have genital warts. I don't know for 100% yet, but I'm scared there is a real chance that I do. There are really no other explanations for this. I couldn't ruin our first holiday season with this information. I won't want to tell her until a little after new years.


I'm desperate to talk to someone here. Please help!

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You could of gotten it from your current partner, or your last partner if she was not always faithful.


Not everyone GETS symptoms, so either of them could of contracted it and passed it on to you, without having an outbreak themselves or even knowing they had it. They can also be dormant for years, so while you may only be getting symptoms now, you may have had it for a while before an outbreak.


Your current partner may have also had it for years, had an outbreak, but never thought much of it, and it's been dormant.


Or, it may not be genital warts at all. It could be a fungal infection (very possible) or another irritation, or illness.


Only a doctor can tell you for sure. Get it checked out, find out what it is, then make some decisions. It's not a great thing to have, but there are ways to treat it and many people live outbreak free from it after the initial diagnosis. You can also minimize risk of infection to partners.


Find out, then worry about your partner. Chances are high she already has it, or perhaps even gave it to you, if it IS genital warts/herpes. Don't be so ashamed....it is actually a very common STD, and it DOES happen to even "good people", because for so long there was also a lot of misinformation about it.



Good luck, and keep us updated.

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Finch, you're getting good advice here -- get checked out by a doctor. I very much hope that you do not have an STD, but in case you do, I want you to know that unless it's something very unusual it's not the end of the world. I was diagnosed with herpes several years ago and thought a big part of my life was over. To the contrary, it showed me how understanding people can be and how emotional vulnerability can actually bring people closer. Good luck and keep us posted!

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