Why am I SOO jealous ??

[lauriecat]

*Stands up*

 

"Hi, I'm Lauriecat, and I have a problem."

 

Well...I've been going out with my boyfriend for about nine months, and each month I find myself feeling more and more jealous about things It used to be him who would get jealous if a guy looked at me, or talked to me, or if i was out with my friends and he was home.

 

But lately the weirdest things have been bothering me... like, today I found out that he eats lunch with his guy friends and these girls also sit with him (girls i never heard about) and that he squeezes next to them at the booth and talks to them & stuff. Oh my god, I got so mad ! Over practically nothing. And every time I see a girl request him on myspace (where he has huge pictures of me saying I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND) or leaving him a comment, I get sooo maddd. He used to accept all their requests, but I think he's stopped now.

 

Basically things like this literally drive me nuts, and sometimes I don't know if I have a reason to be mad or not. Like, when we went out to the mall with my friend and he seemed to keep taking her advice over mine about what to get for his mom and following her to the store that she wanted to go to next, instead of the store that i wanted to go to.. and then paying for her at dinner bc "it was her birthday in 2 days" and not paying for me. I mean, I know I sound completely immature, but in most aspects other than this I'm not! Eeeekkk I don't know what to do, I'm driving him and myself crazy.

[DN]

Decide to stop acting like that. It's very simple. Note I said 'simple' not 'easy'. But you can do it if you choose.

[Derge]

Dont be jelous your his girlfriend and there just his friends. They may be giving him tips on being a better boy-friend. If there is proper reason to be jelous then is finding him making out with a girl or something.

[lauriecat]

hhmmm well.... i know i shouldnt be so jealous, but there are a lot of times where he expects me to put in so much of my attention and he never reciprocates. realizing i have a problem is one thing, stopping myself from feeling the way i feel is another.

[theantibarbie23]

I live by a rule when it comes to these things: You have to treat the men in your life with the same level of respect and trust that you expect from them.

 

You need to realize that your behavior is eventually going to push him away and ultimately may ruin your relationship. I'm sure you didn't enjoy it when he would get upset when you were out with your friends. After awhile you resent the person whose jealousy is keeping you prisoner. No one wants to feel smothered or as though they can't be trusted.

 

Are you getting jealous because you don't feel you can trust your boyfriend? Do you feel secure within your relationship? Figure out what it is that is getting to you and work on changing it. It's not going to be easy but it's better than continuing down this path.

[Blue Skittles]

It is important for you to trust him and let go of the feelings of jealousy. Just keep this in mind, if he cheats on you, you will know, you will find out about it. Just try to find peace, I used to be a very jealous person with my first boyfriend and I ended up getting hurt a lot. Then i finally decided there was no reason for it, and it was just making me feel worse. All you have to do is take your mind of the jealousy and force yourself to think that there is no reason for it. It might be hard at first but the more you train your thoughts in this way the easier it becomes. Adn then, eventually, you won't even have to thinka bout it anymore.

[Jessy]

Honestly, jealousy eliminates with age and time. Once you two are together for an extended period of time, (I know 9 months feels like forever, but in the grand scheme of things, it's just another bump in the road) you'll feel more comfortable together. You'll both realize that if you've been together for so long, nothing is going to happen. Of course, this only applies if you two truly and genuinely love eachother.... Anyway, for now, I think everyone's advice is really very good. There was a technique i used to use, repeating a mantra. Everytime you wonder if your boyfriend is out cheating on you, repeat something like "*boyfriend's name* loves me, and he wouldn't hurt me." Hope I helped. (=