starting to feel the christmas blues

[ehm doubleyou]

Hey everyone...Ive been feeling alittle down lately because of the holidays approaching and how it will be the first christmas not spending it with my ex. I loved going to her house on christmas eve with great food and company, way more than I liked going to my parents place.

 

The ex came over last night for some sushi and what I thought was exchanging of gifts but she came over to give me money so i can get the present for her sister at my place with my discount. When I handed her gift to her she looked puzzeled and mentioned " what you are giving this to me now?" I told her that I was working 11 hour days and yesterday being my only day off till christmas....I wanted to give it to her then, cause it makes the pain alot less for me to deal with...She wants me to come by on christmas eve to exchange gifts ....I just do not know if I can handle it....I am afraid I am gonna break down and cry and embarrass myself and her. I know I have to be strong, but I just wish I had some real closure to this all as I feel I do not have all the answers to the real reason why we broke up....

 

 

I still have days were I wake up and want to cry....I can say I have never cried so much over something ever in my life. I really want to do the n/c but she thinks thats "harsh" ...but abandoning me is not? I try to tell her that I need to heal and she keeps on mentioning that she does not know what she would do without me in her life...but yet I have to live without her....any advice from anyone?

[ocrob]

You are in exactly my situation and probably many others. It is not your resonsibility to be there for her. You are her support system and she loves having that. I would venture that she even loves you, but is not in love with you. I F'n hate hearing that Stuff! I tried being friends with my ex for about 8 months. At first it was very affectionate and awesome. Then things slowed down and then she started dating. It is impossible to be friends with someone you still love. It will wreck you. I was seriously depressed every monday after hanging out on the weekend. It was like being broken up with over an over. It is just a long tortureous dealth. I still love my ex and even love her as a friend, but I am doing so much better not seeing or talking to her. Time for NC my friend. She sounds nice, but her feelings are not your problem at this point. She has no idea the pain you are going through. Cut it off now!!

[acuraman]

Right now you need to do what is best for you in your situation. If you feel that it would be difficult for you to have contact with your ex, then perhaps the best thing for you to do is to initiate N/C. It might sound harsh, but if thats the only way you can start your healing process then I say go for it. Just remember that she was the one who broke your heart, and not the other way around.

[healinginnyc81]

I agree with everyone, she can't put that pressure on you while you are trying to heal. It will only make your healing that much harder.

[ehm doubleyou]

Thanks for your replies everyone....

 

I would venture that she even loves you, but is not in love with you. I F'n hate hearing that Stuff!

 

Man ....I am there with you on that....Its right up there with "its not you, its me" and the fact is is that she told me those exact words ocrob that she loves me but is not in love with me....Ladies just a word of advice...please do not use that line to us guys cause it mess with our minds in a bad way...well it messed my mind up...and left me confused

[Juha]

You can say that again...

 

What is I love and care about you but am not in love with you...

 

Either you love someone or you don't love someone, period...

 

This is just a confused cowardly person that says that...

[ocrob]

I do believe they love us, but they are in love with our support and our friendship. The best is when they say you deserve someone great, but we don't deserve them. : )