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Attracted to the waitress...

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So here's my situation:


Last week while out to dinner with a group of friends, I found myself to be very attracted to our waitress. I kind of picked up on some "signals" as we were lightly flirting with each other. I didn't want to make too much of a scene in front of my friends since some of them were girls and at least one of those girls has expressed an attraction to me in the past. I really wanted to let our waitress know that I was interested in getting to know her and found her attractive so the best thing I could think of to do without making a scene was when my check came (we all paid with separate checks) to use a credit card and leave my phone number. So I did just that. I know she got the number because when she went to the credit card machine I noticed her look up with a surprised look on her face and then she looked right at me and smiled. After about 4 or 5 days she never called (which in a way I wasn't really expecting her to call since I am just some random guy). So last night a smaller group of my friends and myself went out to the same restaurant and she was there. We had someone different wait our table but she did walk by a few times. I tried to make eye contact but it seemed like she didn't really notice me. I kind of sensed that she knew I was there and remembered me but was either shy, not interested at all in me, has a boyfriend, or was just too busy with work to be distracted. I didn't want to bother her while she was working so basically I left without making it obvious I was there.


My question is what do you all think would be a good way to at least get some more info from her (ie—whether she is a little bit interested or not interested at all or taken) without looking like a stalker or interfering with her work life too much. I told a friend of mine about this situation and he wants to go back next week with his girlfriend and me and request to sit in her section so I can talk to her a little bit more and see if there is any opportunity to meet up with her outside of work. He thinks by having his girlfriend there it will make the environment a little less hostile since there would be at least another female present. I am thinking it might be just a good idea to get over her though. Thanks for any advice!

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i dont think you can talk to her at her work place.. First, she wont be able to talk openly and u dont wanna make a scene as u said at the place..


i suggest that u can talk to her out of her work place, maybe after she finishes work or something.. try to talk to her.. just normal talking.. if she is interested she will talk to u more and she will try to make a connection so she would see u again or something...


If she is not interested, i think you would be able to understand.. Dont take it soo seriously bec maybe she just likes talking to people specially she has to be nice at her work place.. GoodLuck

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To put it nicely, I don't think you have a chance after what you did.


Waitresses get hit on by about every third customer and you have do really do something to stand out to get a waitress to pay you any attention. And by that, I mean you have to - believe it or not - ignore her and become a regular from the get go. You have to not flirt with her. You have to not ask for her phone number. You pretty much have to abandon all normal methods of dating.


Of my waitress friends, they all say it blows them away that some guy would ask them on a date, ask for their phone number, or - worse - leave a number hoping they'd call (like you did.) She's a good waitress and was flirting with you as part of her job. You don't say what other signals you got, but unless she was ignoring her customers (or friends; that's a good sign) to stay and talk with you then she was *probably* being professional/polite.


The methods to pick up a waitress are beyond my scope of experience because I was married to one and got REALLY tired of every guy hitting on her. Phone numbers on receipts every night, guys pushing past me to talk to her, etc., etc.


The only advice I can give you is to go check out this site: link removed


While I don't like his methods at all, and he does not focus on long term relationships (he admits he cannot keep a relationship going) he can teach you how to pick up waitresses.


But good luck keeping her...

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I should add, if you go back do this:


1. Do NOT ask for her section.

2. Ignore her. Do NOT look at her.

3. If you do see her, just nod or just lift your hand in a guy-like "Hey" kind of wave.

4. If she serves you, do NOT ask her out. If you can, order a drink and complain that they made it wrong and send it back. Make her work a little.

5. Leave no more than a 15% tip.

6. Walk out.

7. Come back with guy friends or girl friends (social proof) and still ignore her.


Could you pull this off? I don't think so. But you sure could spend a lot of time and money trying.

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Hey bro, really a dicey situation ... in the future, just go up and pay your bill, and ask her for here phone #. If she hesitates, or gives an excuse, it's end-game right there. Chicks rarely, if _ever_ phone, even if you leave a message.


Don't ever worry about making other people uncomfortable in a situation like that, because really, it's your life. As far as this situation, as PocoDiablo says ... unless she is ignoring everyone to talk with you. Now that I think of it though, like PocoDiablo says, she most likely gets hit on all the time ... good luck, it's gonna be a pain.



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As suggested earlier unless you are a regular at the restaurant then you want to ask for her number once you determine that you are interested. Given their positions waitresses are going to get hit on all the time and because of the nature of their job they are busy so you dont have much time to make the effort.

As for right now I dont think you have a chance at getting to know her better, look at this as lesson and learn from it

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