Today 21 days of NC

[sukerbut]

Hey guys..i am in my 21st day of NC just wanted to give you an update. Well she has not tried to contact me since that e-mail i sent her 11/30 about not being able to be her friend..personally i dont think she will ever call...i have cut contact from her social circle as well..my cousin dates her cousin..and it was hard for me to be around these people.. things are getting a lil easier..i have tried dating but have not reallly been lucky in that dept. not yet any ways..i am working out like a mad man...getting back in redicoulos shape, but i still to this day wonder how some one can so quickly fall out of love with you(vacations , dinners, love, passion, good sex) ...like i said it is getting easier..i am coming to the realization that i fell in love with the wrong woman..my love blinded me...made me see something that really was not there..i mean i saw glimpses of that person when they were really in love with me but those glimpses were far and few in between. it sucks becasue we really cant help whom we fall in love with..my real ex of seven years..makes 150k a year..is loyal , loves me to death, wants to marry me, and i am stuck on this 22 yr old that does not know if she is coming or going , sure she is nice arm candy, but thats were it ends..she is not very sexual..she cant find a job 8 months out of college..her family values are warped to say the least. and etc. i was sitting and thinking about this last night and i was chuckling..thinking i cant believe that i am here torturing my self over this insignificant woman..Dont get me wrong i miss her and i love her, but now there is some sort of hate rolling in my emotions after 21 days. i hate her for ripping my heart out again..i hate her for being so selfish and cruel. i hate her fro the hurtful things she said to me i hate her for making me feel so insignificant and foolish....i hate her for giving me up so she could instead hang out with losers..i hate her for talkign about marriage when she was not sure what she was saying . i hate her because i love her more than i hate her. i am still struggling with her b-day..i have said i am not going to call her fo x-mas or new years, but her b-day is the 14th of jan..i think i am going to have to stick to no contact. Thats my story so far..i will keep you guys posted. i am still so very confused as to were my lover went and why she was replaced by the ice queen again for the 3rd time..like i feel she really wants me. do you think my love scares her? 3 times she has acted so in love with me..just so in can come to an end again..i just dont get it. i know hse is young, but what the hell is going on in her mind. we will never know

[healinginnyc81]

21 days is great, keep going. make plans to be out or keep busy on her bday. It's good that you're starting to see that she wasn't good for you. I'm having trouble with that, everyday I seem to realize more and more that my ex was right for me. But you're giving me hope.

 

Keep it up, man.

[confused_male_32]

Hang in there and be strong! I have known people getting back together even after three years from the time of breakup. She is still quite young and under a lot of stress. Give her atleast a year to sort things out.

Definitely send her a b'day wish but keep it non-romantic if possible. Romance is implied in your case. Try to send her something that will get her thinking about you.

Good luck

[sukerbut]

i have been reading your post bk. i feel you brother..i too feel hopeless and empty, but the last coupel of weeks i have been putting things in perspective. my ex three times over now. does not posses the same life values that i posses. that is huge...how can i be in a relationship were she does not respect me. she had supposed male friends that would call her regularly..she had a life frind that was in jail for 5 years ..he would call her from jail..now he is out and they are hanging out..i mean you want to be a some one you tell me but you want to associte yourself with losers like that. she still talks and sends care packages to her ex in korea..he is in the army...i love her, but she can not drive me crazy like this..make me feel so insecure in the relationship and then have the ba lls to tell me that i am insecure..well maybe if you did not make me feel insecure and showed me a lil respect i would not..i treated her very well..yes i drank at parties alil too much..but that never seemed to bother her before..now all of a sudden i am a reckless drunk..which i am not..she forgets that she smokes weed every day..of her life..please...they got tired of being in the relationship so they gave up on us..they never truly loved us.. love does not turn sour in a month. i really cant see it happening unless the other party makes it happen. i still think my ex talked herself out of it..again for the third time..but this time will be the last. my life will continue to be filled with enjoyment. yes i am hurting a lot now, becasue i thought it was fate and that hse was the one..but she is not...I HAVE COME TO REALIZE that this woman has used me for her own personal enjoyment and self centered selfishness. i mean i was entertaining her at 17 at top shelf rest. in ny..took her to expensive vacations..then when things get tough or she decideds hey i am bored again..she does not love me liek that any more..please ... I did nothing but love her.care fo her and support her..she did not love me back.i forgot her past i believed her when she said she wanted to marry me .she did not respect me..i should of canned her a ss a long time ago, but i did not..and in turn i get to hurt, while she is out cannoodling with losers. F&*k her! We will be better off with out this caancer in our lives. and the best part was that iw as begging her to take me back becasue i would change for her..what a joke

[healinginnyc81]

I completely relate to your anger, sukerbut, I feel like I was used and then dumped when she had other people to support her. I just want to get myself back to being secure with myself. I want to go out and have fun and make new friends and enjoy myself. It's her loss and she will know it.

[thlst3]

hey, i'm in the same boat. i started NC 8 days ago and it's been tough. my ex's bday is 13th and I'm not going to call or txt her.

 

let's stay strong and move forward in 2006.

[sukerbut]

we will my friend..i regressed a lil today...talked to my cousin whom dates her cousin..was on the web site all day today..i love this site but sometimes it clouds your mind..i sway back and forth as to loving her or hating her..recently i started being very angry with her, but then i get on here and i realize i miss her and i want her back..BUT I REALLY DONT!! 2006 is going to be a hell of a year for all of us. i made a breif appearnce today...but it has to stop because all i am doing is driving myself crazy..she does not care if i am hurting..she is happy that she no longer has this burden in her life (love , compassion, gifts, dinners, support) unbeleivable...The only way to start healing is to start hating...i sit here and wonder all the things i did wrong..guess what the only reasaon i was needy and clingy is because she made me into that person...she is the real reason for the break up. We all make mistakes..she made more than i did..all i did ws give 100% its not my fault she did not want to do the same..THATS IT. no more torturing ourselves...what we did..if i beat her and treated her with abuse and neglect..fine..then it would be my fault..all i did was love and give ..and all i got was resentment and rejection...If you dont hate you will never forget.. HATE HATE HATe... she ruined my dreams, she ruined my happines and then she has the audacity to tell me i thought we ended it well..andf lets be friends...how bout you step in front of a truck!!!

[kingdead]

...If you dont hate you will never forget.. HATE HATE HATe... she ruined my dreams, she ruined my happines and then she has the audacity to tell me i thought we ended it well..andf lets be friends...how bout you step in front of a truck!!!

 

HATE HER!!!!! ! We have alot in common. I'm 30 she is 21 but we got married and had a kid. Be glad it didn't go that far. She might have taken your dreams but atleast you still have your things and there wasn't child to take from you (that kills the most)!!!!!! Be glad she did this now because she would have done it eventually. Dealing with the mind set of a child who has very different moral values is impossible.](*,) They will not understand where we are coming from until they get there. Dreams, hopes, future I've been there and it f***ing hurts man! We split 7 months ago. I did everything wrong to bring her back and she did everything to push me away. People have been telling me "no contact" since we slpit. I didnt listen and kept begging and fighting. I just started NC 2 weeks ago and now she is freakin out. "Why arent you picking up the phone", "Call me", "what are you up too". For 7 months she wouldnt give the time of day. Now that she thinks I'm movin on, she is doin to me what I was doin to her. But I'm not doing it to get her back. I'm doing it because I have had enough. F - HER!!!! Peel her off like a scab! It'll hurt, It'll scar, but most importantly It will heal!!

HATE HER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good luck brother!!!!!

[kingdead]

\\ Broken Box\\

 

i've got wine & so do you

mine came with a cork

i wish yours did too

 

everyone just loves you so

Well hurray!

now you know where to go

 

in my head you're all brand new

i guess you're really all the same

in my head you're all brand new

tell your new boy where i came

in my head you're all brand new

i just didn't want what you gave

in my head you're all brand new

go & find yourself another slave

 

there you are

Ooohh you're so in love, just like juliette

Well guess what?

that's one thing that you can for-f*#king-get

 

tears from the sky

in pools of pain

well baby tonite, i'm gonna go & dance in the rain

 

in my head you're all brand new

i guess you're really all the same

in my head you're all brand new

tell your new boy where i came

in my head you're all brand new

take that broken pu$$y elsewhere

in my head you're all brand new

save it baby, i don't care