Should We Meet? Or is it Kind of Soon...

[capricorn85]

Hello everyone! I started talking to this guy online about a week ago. We had our first conversation Sunday and it was great. Lasted about two hours and it would've lasted longer if I didn't have to go study! We've been communicating since then. The thing is that I dont know if it is too soon to meet up with him? I am going back home, tomm, he is from there also. We want to meet up, do you think its a good idea? I guess we are in a rush because after two weeks we have to go back to our schools...

[registered]

Well don't rush and meet up just because of any reason other than wanting to.

 

I wouldn't do it simply because of the rush before school. I'd only do it if I really wanted to meet him and felt it was the appropriate time. Do you know enough about him to want to meet him? Would you be more secure if you had talked to him a while longer?

 

There is no rush after all, and there will always be other opportunities.

 

It's always best to know as much as possible about people you've met on the internet before you meet them. One two hour conversation isn't much to go by.

Obviously you want to be sure he is who he says he is.

 

It's your decision anyway... If you want to meet and think that it will be ok then do it, but don't do it alone. Take someone along with you who can look out for you.

[MelodyCalls]

I knew my girlfriend for two years before meeting her, which helped a lot because we got to know each other really well. I wouldn't meet so soon, just to be on the safe side. I know nobody wants to think the person they're talking to could be dangerous, but it's better to be safe than sorry.

 

I'm sure if he is truly interested in persuing something with you then he'll understand.

 

If you do decide to meet him, take registered's advice and bring someone along.

[shes2smart]

As long as you are comfortable meeting him it is not "too soon."

 

Online chatting was the primary way I met guys when I was single and dating, and if I was interested in the guy, I'd always try to get an online meeting fairly quickly. You can learn a lot more about a person and how you really interact with them by meeting face to face. What I've found out is there are a lot of people I can get along with on a computer screen who I can't get along with in person. I've also found out there are some guys who think a height of 6' is a lot shorter than what it is.....

 

Make sure you meet in a public place with a lot of other people around. Places that have a security guard are good because if you start feeling uneasy, you can always ask the security guard to walk you to your car. You can also bring a friend. Your friend doesn't have to be part of the meeting...in fact the guy you're meeting doesn't even have to know the friend is there. Your friend can just hang out, do a little shopping, grab a coffee and sit a few tables away...point is there's someone you know keeping an eye on you. At the very least, someone should know where you are going, why you are going, and an approximate time of your return.

 

Otherwise, if there are no red flags (things like he's talked about nothing but sex, or stuff he's told you isn't adding up) and you feel comfortable meeting him over the holiday break, go & have a nice time.

 

Oh, one other thing...I'd try to get in at least one phone conversation before you meet. Dunno about you, but I was always able to tell if a person was basically ok (not dangerous) or not ok (dangerous) after talking to them on the phone for a while. A phone conversation would also give me a fairly accurate read on how I'd interact with the guy in person.

[capricorn85]

We've spoken on the phone about 3 times since sunday. I know for sure that he is in college and that he isn't lying about his age. I saw the proof, lol. If anything I'll drive and meet him at a public place and if he is crazy i'll drive away lol. He doesnt mention sex at all. We flirt a lot like joke about us becoming, I think it's cute. He is really cool and we vibe really well. He already knows I'm coming tonight and we really want to see eachother.

[RayKay]

In my own opinion and experience, it is wise to meet within the first couple weeks if you can. Otherwise, I think there is a tendency to build something that may not really exist....chemisty ONLINE is useless if you don't have it offline too!

 

Not saying either of you are not pretending to be someone else, but sometimes people unknowingly are different from one form to the next, and until you meet them, you don't know. It's much easier to get to know someone for whom they REALLY are in person.

 

If you want to meet, both of you want to meet, go ahead! Truly, just do it!

 

I always said personally while online dating, that it is better to meet sooner, find out if there is anything there, rather then us both waste time building a fantasy. Reality in my books is what counts!

 

I really DON'T think it's best to "know as much as possible" about each other at all, save that for the in person meetings. I think the basics is fine, a general impression. It's no different then if you met someone at school, or at a club, or through friends, you don't learn EVERYTHING about them, then ask them out. You decide if there is base interest, then go out and get to know one another. Online dating is a MEDIUM to meeting, not a replacement for dating.

 

Don't drag someone with you on a date either...that's really uncomfortable and feels like an interrogation, not a date. If there are no red flags, just meet in a PUBLIC place, and keep the first date relatively short and sweet. Let a friend know where you are, and that's it. Don't drag others along, that's just silly. If you feel you need someone else there, don't meet them then at all.

 

Just meet somewhere public, relax, and have fun. It may or may not click, but take it as an experience. If you click, awesome! If not, then at least you know now rather then after "dating" online for several months...

[capricorn85]

Thank you for the advice so far. Well we've been chatting a lot lately, but I feel like I may be too available for him. It is weird because today we established that we liked each other, but for some reason I really like him. This is the first guy I have actually connected with since my breakup 3 months ago and I am afraid of getting hurt. I really wanted to see him tomm and I asked him a good day and he told me after xmas. In my mind I was kind of down because I really want to hurry and see him so im not living in a fantasy world. I was going to be unavailable for him tomm, because I do not want him to get tired of me? And I do not want it to seem like I have no life, lol..but he is the only guy I am talking to right now like that. Any suggestions...

[In Your Eyes]

Only you can kno when the time is right. Some people like to wait, personally, I like to meet the on line person as soon as possible. I feel like I can't tell until meeting them in person if we will ever have "that spark". I have eliminated a lot of losers by meeting early on and I met my current boyfriend by meeting early on. Good luck!!

[EndThisMusic]

I have met a number of girls through online personal sites and have had a number of differing experiences. I've talked with one girl for almost a year and we never did end up meeting in person or even talking over the phone. I've met another girl who I had talked to for a day or two over IM, and had a very bad first date. But on the other side of the spectrum, I recently went out on the first date with a girl who I had only talked to on the phone that afternoon to setup a date. We really hit it off that night and last night we agreed to make the relationship exclusive, so I won't need my profiles on the personals websites any longer. It's a very good feeling when it all works out and you find the right person! Basically, you have to decide if you are comfortable. The more you date people you initially meet online, the more comfortable you become with it.

 

Good luck and remember to be patient but persistent!