Why do we all play games?

[ocrob]

It is so funny how we have all been conditioned to play games. I have learned the rules and know exactly how to manipulate a woman. But, I choose not to. I realize that being honest and sincere might screw me, but that is how I judge a woman. I could so easily act uninterested and play it cool, but I would rather throw it out there and deal with her response. I love to be honest and straightforward and see what kind of response I get. I expect most women to get an attitude and blow me off. I guess this is my test. If a woman appreciates my words, then she might have a chance. I am so happy being myself and am not some little B, but I love to compliment people and be nice. If I like a woman, then I will tell her. I love to tell her how beautiful and sweet she is. This is temporary and I don't get why women get so cocky. I believe that I will give all of my affection and honesty, but will bail out once they have an attitude. I think it is conditioning from other relatioships. Most guys are not nice and most women play games. I am going to be myself and don't play games. It feels good to be myself. I do like this new girl, but I doubt she will hang with my expectations. I have given her some compliments and although she has been sweet she will stuff it up. I will not apologize for being nice or honest. The problem is that I won;t take any . This woman better know that I am the real thing and if not, then she is gone. I don't know why, but I would rather be so sweet and so nice and at the same time totally intolerant to someone that does not respect me. I can be everything to a woman or be nothing at all. Ladies, there are not many non players out there, but if you find one and he is cute like me, then just appreciate him and be sweet. lol

[registered]

I guess this is my test. If a woman appreciates my words, then she might have a chance.

Seems like a good test

 

I have given her some compliments and although she has been sweet she will F it up.

Hhmm, that's a bit rough lol... She might not! I hope she doesn't...You are a good guy - like you say, you are for real...if the woman doesn't want a nice guy, then she won't get one

 

I think it takes a lot more confidence to do what you do than to play games... playing games is definitely the easy way, and the way with least resistance and least self-inflicted pain (in the short term at least).

[pineapple_juice]

Be careful when you use the words "all" because not everyone plays games. I don't, and most of my friends don't. We are just open and honest when we deal with members of the opposite sex.

[Shadows Light]

OCROB...lol.. age and field of experience may be a factor.

 

I have a difficult time accepting compliments. They are nice to hear.. yes. (blush). But of course have been conditioned to think that there is a price tag associated with that compliment.

 

No.. its not fair that I carry baggage. Life isn't fair. And the older we get.. the more baggage. Mine just happen to be steamer trunks...LOL.

 

But duly noted... not all men are players. Its just difficult to here those words again.."trust me, I'm different", because at our age OCROB.. we've heard them time and again.. and have lived through disapointments.

 

On the flip side, Not all women play games. Not all women are interested in all the sparklies and looking at your bank book. LOL.

 

What a novelty... everyone being honest with each other and no one playing "PP" games. hmmmm. Nahhhhh...wouldn't work. We're only human and thusly... imperfect.

[darkblue]

You reap what you sow.

If you play games; expect them to be played right back at you.

And if you are quietly confident, honest and open - expect that in return, too.

[PocoDiablo]

I think anyone that has to manipulate a woman is missing the point, as mentioned - they are tricking her to be with you.

 

The thing I think is funny is players typically can pick up a woman, but cannot maintain a quality long term relationship. This is key.

 

But I also think you have to be mature, thoughtful, confident, and not completely predictable and boring. I find that over-complimenting a woman will lead to your demise very quickly. Mostly it has to do with what you say and how often you say it. I've learned to use compliments sparingly and considerately.

[ocrob]

That post was a little harsh. I had a few cocktails and I was not communicating the way that I usually like to. I talked to this woman today and she is very sweet. I am hoping to make a really good friend and if more happens, then time will tell. I guess I just get frustrated that you can't express yourself, but a good female friend of mine made a point that men and women don't want it so easy at the beginning. I think she is right. Not to say you are playing games, but don't show all of the cards of your hand too quickly.

[kate111]

Games happen when you are not sure if you like somebody that you don't know yet and want to find out more but don't want to commit yourself just in case.

[ocrob]

Kat111 that is a really great explanation. I would say that I agree with you in terms of just getting to know someone. My ex used to play games either for control issues or other reasons, but I think you could be right on. Plus, I am sure there are degrees of game playing. I think that sometimes it can be innocent and the other person is trying to play hard to get and not acting too available. This woman is very interesting to me. She is kind of sarcastic and does not respond to my compliments, but then out of the blue will say something really nice. I have learned so much in the last 8 months from experience and the last few weeks from this site. : )

[kate111]

Games are part of the attraction and mating rituals of humans and pretty complex.

 

They aren't always "bad" but can be a way of protecting yourself and preventing unecessary hurt on other people.

[melrich]

They aren't always "bad" but can be a way of protecting yourself and preventing unecessary hurt on other people.

 

Yes Kate I agree. It really depends on what you mean by games.

 

Lying and blatant manipulation is of course wrong.

 

Presenting yourself in the best light in my opinion is a natural behaviour.

 

Being wary and non-commital initially is also a natural behaviour...we do our best to avoid hurt.

[ocrob]

kate111 you are probably right. You should empty your mailbox because you have friends trying to write you. lol

[PocoDiablo]

I guess I just get frustrated that you can't express yourself, but a good female friend of mine made a point that men and women don't want it so easy at the beginning. I think she is right. Not to say you are playing games, but don't show all of the cards of your hand too quickly.

Good point.

 

It's like playing cards. It's fun, but not if all the players show you all their cards. Then it's boring and you'll find someone else to hang out with.

[kate111]

there is room now.

[alrightie_ms]

Now...this is so so sweeeeeeet..

[ocrob]

alrightie, thank you. That is exactly how I respond to a woman that I am expressive to. Last night my new friend called me. It made me so happy. I have been pretty open and expressive and she knew I was at my parents. She did not respond to my e-mail and chose to call me. I respect that and appreciate that. This girl (woman) had a very deep e-mail last night that would scare most away and she called me today and I really respected that. I think I say what is on my mind because I am trying to weed them out. If a woman can't deal with my affection or interest, then she is out. lol I realize we all want a challenge and do believe in that, but I just have to express myself. Thanks alrightie.